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Envy is the penultimate layer, and based on everything I’ve told you so far, I’m sure you can imagine what it might be like. What, no guesses? Too afraid you might be right? Don’t worry, it’s another layer that’s quite nostalgic.
The layer of Envy appears as an infinite school, connected to an infinite dormitory, which in turn is connected to an infinite small city. I know that last one sounds contradictory, but we’ll get to that in a moment. When you’re in Envy, you’ll look and feel like you did in your teenage years, specifically, the point you were most emotionally and socially vulnerable. Life in Envy is just an infinite recycled school day, with the same classes, same teachers, same bus ride to and fro, and no hope for a weekend.
Your peers in Envy will be an endless brigade of bratty, vicious, and jealous teenage girls. You know the kind, but ten times worse than your childhood tormentors could ever hope to be. They live only to spread rumors and gossip about literally everyone else, and make sure everyone else is just as miserable as they are.
I know what you might be thinking. Just live under the radar, act as wallpaper, be invisible, and no one is likely to bother you. Alas, in this place, these girls are jealous of literally everything. You try to be unnoticeable? They’re jealous you’re flying under the radar. Act too noticeable? They’re jealous you’re the center of attention. Once you inevitably catch their attention, an afterlife of torment and bullying awaits you. Then you’ll be socially ostracized, like only an unpopular middle school kid could be. And they’ll be jealous of how isolated you are. After all, in their mind, a loser like you doesn’t need to live up to any expectations. Of course, if you tried to live up to any expectations, they’d be jealous you’re rising above your station. There’s just no pleasing them.
And there’s no escaping them either, whether in the halls, or in class, or on the bus, or in the dorms. They’re always there, watching, gossiping, stalking you until they can corner you and make your life…well, you know. You could always try retreating to the small city. It has that quaint, suburban feel, and it goes on forever – until it doesn’t – but don’t think that makes it safe. No, much like a small population center, everyone seems to know everyone, and the teenage girls aren’t the only ones gossiping and spreading rumors.
I’m sure you’re wondering, aren’t there any men down there? Well, you won’t see any if that’s what you’re thinking. And as for men who get sent there, it’s a whole thing. You see, you aren’t really “you” in Envy. You’re more of an abstract concept of a person, more specifically, a perfect target for bullying. It doesn’t matter what you do and don’t look like, they’re just going to project their negative feelings onto you and decide you’re their target by any means. So, I hope you aren’t too attached to your looks, because you won’t just be bland, you’ll be less than a person in your own eyes. But in their eyes, you’ll be whatever they want to hate. And boy, won’t you hate them. I mean, they’re all pretty teenage girls, and they’re jealous of you? You won’t even know what your own face looks like anymore, and they dare to be envious? What jerks. You’ll probably be spreading rumors about them by the end of the first week.
What, you don’t want to be part of the teenage girl simulator? Fine, I figured you’d prefer the last one anyway. Not that you really have a choice if all the others are a no-go. I mean, if you can’t take this last one, then you’ll be forced to take one of the other layers, and who wants to go to any of them? No, the last layer, Pride, that’s where it’s at. That’s where all the cool people cursed to spend eternity here end up. Or at least, I’m sure that’s what they tell themselves.
Pride is a simple place, much like Envy, you are reduced to a lesser form of yourself and surrounded by others. Except, instead of your biggest problem being constantly noticed, in Pride, you’re practically invisible. No one sees you for who you are, if they see you at all. Nope, you’re nothing more than a sounding board for everyone else. Who is everyone else? Why the most cocky, arrogant, and blindly confident people you’ve ever met, of course. And they love to talk about themselves. They’ll go on and on about one thing or another, usually themselves, but maybe something else. But this isn’t the passionate rant of someone who loves and adores a topic, it is quite the opposite, in fact. It’s a mangled, incoherent rambling of someone who doesn’t know a whole lot about anything, but boy, do they have a lot of opinions.
The best part about Pride – well, maybe not the best for you – is that these people ranting and raving are more than likely going to be talking about a subject or person you know well. Or maybe, even something you created or put a lot of effort into. It could be anything, a book, a movie, a person, a political campaign, a public works project, a presentation at your office, or something as simple as the paint job on a house. After but a minute, you’ll know for a fact they don’t know anything about the topic they’re talking about. It’ll be blatantly obvious they got all their “facts” and “research” from sensational headlines, biased sources, overly simplified breakdowns, and, most importantly, their own hasty conclusions. The truth is whatever they decide it to be, no matter how far from reality it is. And the cherry on top? They’ll have no idea who you are. You’ll just be some random person they can rant to, they won’t know or care that they’re hurting your feelings and driving you mad.
I’m sure you’re wondering why don’t you just speak up and clear up the misunderstandings? No can do, as a new resident of Pride, you won’t be able to talk, emote, or even communicate. You physically won’t be able to, nor will you want to. Like I said, you’ll be reduced to a lesser form of yourself, a meek, quiet, and nervous wreck. No matter how badly those words hurt, nothing could be worse than the pain of being noticed. Yet, deep down, you’ll want to be noticed, you’ll want to be praised, but your newly gifted social anxiety will make such an ideal nothing more than a terrifying fantasy.
I suppose I never described what Pride looks like, but that’s because it can be any number of places. A meeting room at an office, a family dinner table, a support group meeting, or even out on the street. All that matters is that it’s somewhere where you’re trapped by societal conventions to keep listening to this person rant, no matter how much it hurts you.
As for your fellow residents? Why would you want them around? You’d be a resident of Pride, and you don’t want to share your personal torment with anyone. That’s right, everyone in Pride is given their own little slice of the afterlife to be tortured in, with no company but these arrogant phantoms who can’t shut up. It might seem like a sad and lonely state of affairs, but I’m sure you’ll enjoy your stay.
Don’t worry, I’ll come check on you sometime in the next century or two. Make sure you’re holding up and all that. Then we can have another delightful discussion like this one. No, no need for words. It’s not like you talk anymore anyway. I’ve got to return to my real job, those pigs in gluttony won’t stuff themselves. Well, some of them will, others need a helpful push. Taa taa~
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Do you detest others for their success? Or do you hold your own successes above those of all other's? Maybe it's better to look on the bright side and not focus on the words of others. Especially those who are clearly biased against you. But at this point, you might not have a choice in the matter.
Until next time, Read, Comment and Enjoy.
