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Tuesday, March 31, 2020

Facetious Fantasies - Architect of Demise [#170]

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           Fredrick was nearly there. His architectural masterpiece would soon be complete. Everything was meticulously planned, every archway and door carefully aligned. Very soon, the planets and stars would align, and their light would flood every crevice of his structure. At the center would be himself, and as he was bathed in the light of a thousand celestial bodies, he’d finally be immortal. Just a few more late nights studying at the library, and he’d determine where the last arch should go.
           “What would a late-night study session be without coffee,” he had told himself earlier, recalling his grad school days. All he’d need was a quick trip to the chain coffee shop up the street, and he’d have all the fuel he’d need for the night. It should have been easy, taken no more than a few minutes. Oh, how wrong he was.
           The coffee shop was dead quiet, the only other customer was a sleepy old man in the corner. Fredrick hadn’t even seen him move the entire time he was there. He assumed that the elderly man had either fallen asleep or expired in his seat. Regardless, being the only customer of attention meant his order, a simple cup of coffee, should’ve been completed swiftly. Yet, here Fredrick sat, in the mostly empty shop, watching the sun slowly set outside. Meanwhile, the barista at the counter stared off into space.
           Frustration mounting Fredrick stomped up to the counter and confronted the dazed employee. Before he vented all his anger on the young man behind the register, the architect composed himself. With a furious glare and stern posture, Fredrick spoke to the barista.
           “Excuse me, I’ve been waiting for ten minutes now, where’s my coffee?” Fredrick inquired furiously.
           “Sir,” the employee let out an exasperated sigh, “you need to order first before we can make your coffee.”
           “I did,” Fredrick restrained himself from yelling, “from you, ten minutes ago. I paid and everything, but I haven’t seen you move an inch since then.”
           “Sir,” the barista rolled their eyes, “there’s no reason to raise your voice, let me check if the order is in our system.” The employee made a half-hearted tap on the touch screen in front of them, “sorry, sir, I’m not seeing any recent orders.”
           “Ridiculous it was ten minutes ago, did you even check?” Fredrick struggled to contain his anger.
           “Sir, if you’re going to continue to be abusive, I’m going to half to ask you to leave,” the young man replied dryly.
           “I want to speak to your manager and lodge a complaint about your work ethic,” Fredrick declared.
           “Sir, there’s no one else in the shop right now. So for all intents and purposes, I am the manager on duty,” the barista explained.
           “Listen here, I paid for the coffee, and you’re going to make it,” Fredrick snapped. “So stop standing there and staring out into space and do your job.”
           “Sir, I warned you about being abusive, please leave,” the employee stated flatly.
           “Listen here, you little maggot,” Fredrick’s voice boomed, “I am the great Fredrick, the Architect of Life. I was ancient when you were nothing more than a twinkle in your mother’s eye. I’ve watched so many civilizations rise and fall. The life of a man is a fart in the wind by comparison. Do not test me, child.” Thunder and lightning crackled outside in tandem with Fredrick’s speech, yet the barista made no discernible reaction.
           “Sir, if you don’t leave, I’m going to call the cops,” the employee threatened.
           “That’s it. I’m going to the shop up the street, they know how to treat customers,” Fredrick stormed off. “The first thing I’m going to do when I become immortal next week is dispute the charge on my credit card. Then I’m coming back here and bringing the wrath of a thousand storms upon you.” The architect slammed open the door and disappeared in a burst of lightning.
           “What an asshole,” the barista muttered to themselves, “definitely going to vent about that guy online tonight.” The employee leaned onto the counter, but as he arched over he noticed something out of the corner of his eye, “Hm? What’s this?” The young man pulled out a cup of coffee hidden behind the counter, it had the name Fredrick written on it in marker.

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Even the greatest and most powerful can be roadblocked by the simplest and most mundane of issues.

Until next time, Read, Comment and Enjoy
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