~~~~
Vanita looked at the mess of paperwork on her desk and sighed. The desk fan in her office and the A/C weren’t enough to cool her down on this hot summer day. Nor was it sufficient for the fuming old hunter sitting in front of her. She knew he’d be problematic when he initially refused to disarm upon entering the office. After last year’s explosive incident, they had a strict no double-barreled hand cannon policy.
“Sir, let’s go over this one more time,” the brunette woman pinched the bridge of her nose. “You’ve been hunting for how long with an expired license?”
“I told you I already got a damn license,” the old man slammed the table. “I want you to get rid of these stupid fines!”
“Of course,” Vanita resisted the urge to slam her head on the table.
Vanita never expected to have a glamourous life. Still, ten years ago, when she got a job at the monster hunter’s guild office, she hoped to at least hear some exciting stories from her clients. So, what the practice had fallen out of favor since the 1800s? Who cared that most “monsters” weren’t even considered inherently evil anymore and were illegal to hunt? There are still monsters that were literally wild animals and the occasional mad dragon. Alas, she ended up in the department handling creating and renewing monster hunting licenses. The woman often dealt with many irate customers who didn’t understand the bureaucratic side of their hobby stroke profession.
“Sir, I must emphasize – again – that you can’t go hunting on an expired license,” she picked up the old hunter’s license. It was tattered and worn, and the expiration date had passed almost seven years ago. Even the picture depicted a far younger man, almost dashing with his jet-black hair and chiseled jaw. A far cry from the grey-haired, bearded old timer in front of her. “I understand that you might not be aware they changed the laws recently, but you need to renew your license every three years at your age.”
That was only half true. The laws had actually changed about ten years prior. A long time ago, a hunting license was good forever, but a century ago, they changed it to last a still lengthy fifteen years. It was only in the past twenty years it had been slowly brought down to a more reasonable count. Anyone under 30 only had to renew every seven years. Between 30 and 50, it’s every five years; for over 50, it’s every three.
The man before Vanita was quite old, so perhaps he was grandfathered in and kept his old expiration date. Maybe he was issued a new license when the law changed and didn’t notice the difference. Regardless, the man had been hunting monsters illegally for the better part of a decade. Depending on his actions, he could be in so many flavors of trouble it would be almost comical.
“I don’t care about no stinkin’ changes,” the old man sputtered, “huntin’s been in my family for generations. I’ve been slaying dragons since before your mother was born, missy. Now help me get rid of these darn fines.”
“Sir, please calm down,” Vanita tried to control the situation. She double-checked the charges on his license, and her heart sank as she read over them more thoroughly. At first, she had only spotted “Hunting without a license,” an unfortunately common occurrence among the older guild members. However, she noted he had well over twenty counts of hunting without a license and a dozen counts of hunting in illegal areas. As well as five counts of improper weapon handling and two counts of hunting protected species. “Sir, I must warn you that the charges on your license are quite extensive. You risk possible jail time if you don’t get this sorted out.”
“I told you, just take care of the fines!” The old hunter barked. “But I sure as hell ain’t payin’ them if that’s what you’re thinking.”
“Sir, the fines are the least of your worries,” Vanita shook her head, “you’re lucky you haven’t been arrested yet.”
“You gonna help me, missy? Or should I talk to your boss? Let’s see how Joseph feels about you givin’ me a hard time,” the hunter threatened.
“Sir, we don’t need to escalate this,” Vanita urged. ‘Disregarding the fact Joseph hasn’t worked here in eight years.’
“Listen here, missy,” the old hunter snapped. “I got a dragon hunt tomorrow, and a gorgon hunt the day after that. But all these damn fines are keepin’ me from ammo storage.”
‘Dear lord, it’s worse than I thought,’ Vanita could feel the situation souring by the second. “Sir, hunting dragons without a license is a crime. And hunting gorgons hasn’t been legal for over 100 years.”
“My pa hunted Gorgons all his life, and he was a hero for it,” the old man yelled. “You sayin he’s a criminal?”
“Sir, please stop, for your own sake,” Vanita urged. ‘He’s really not going to like who my boss is.’
“Answer a question when your asked, missy,” the old hunter wagged his finger. “That’s the problem with you young ones, no respect for their elders.”
‘He did not just say that. People don’t actually say that, right?’ Vanita felt like her life was turning into a bad tv show.
“Now you’re going to get rid of these damn fines, and I’m going Gorgon hunting. You understand?” The hunter almost jabbed Vanita in the face. “Or do I need to teach you a lesson your parents failed to?”
“Is there a problem?” A voice came from just outside the office. Vanita recognized it as her boss, the one person who just might make this situation unintentionally worse.
“No, Sammantha. I can handle this,” Vanita assured.
“Yes, there’s a problem, your employee,” the old hunter whipped around, but his words died in his throat when he got a good look at the boss. Sammantha was a half-gorgon, and while she lacked the snake tail and a few other bits, she did have snakes for hair and a gaze that could turn people to stone. Thankfully, she wore special sunglasses for the latter, but the former could not be hidden. “Where the hell has this place gone that it’s hirin’ snakes now?” The old hunter ranted.
“Sir, I’d like to ask you to leave the premises, or I’ll be forced to call security,” Sammantha laid down the law.
“I’ll be a dead man before I listen to a snake*****,” the old man spewed.
‘Oh, bad idea,’ Vanita felt her chest clench. She exchanged glances with Sammantha. The half-gorgon urged her to take cover.
“Forget security. I’ll remove you myself,” Sammantha declared.
“I’d like to see you try-!” The old hunter began before Sammantha picked him up by the scruff of his neck. In his fury, the old man had failed to realize Sammantha was over a head taller than him and, being a half-gorgon, had quite a bit of strength. She dragged him away, the old coot kicking and screaming the whole way before being chucked outside.
“Well, that happened,” Vanita rested her head on the desk.
“Don’t worry about it. You handled that situation as best you could,” Sammantha smiled.
“You won’t get in trouble for this?” Vanita asked.
“He made his opinions on gorgons very clear,” the boss replied. “I’ll tell HR I felt sufficiently threatened and acted in self-defense. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to phone the police.” The half-gorgon left the room.
“What a day,” Vanita leaned back in her chair and looked at the clock. “It’s not even noon,” she sighed. The brunette gathered up all the documents on the old hunter, sorted them into a folder, labeled them appropriately, and shoved them in her cabinet. ‘These will probably be important in the near future,’ she acknowledged before moving back to her regular work.
~~~~
Rude and belligerent customers are a fact of life in many professions. It is best to deal with them courteously and professionally.
Until next time, Read, Comment and Enjoy.
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