Eclectic Narratives #9 - Cedar-7 [#107]

~~~~ 

            The lovely beach planet of Cedar-7 is the perfect destination for a private getaway or a trip with the whole family. Visit the beautiful beaches, untouched by pollution or industry, that stretch across the entire planet. Enjoy our fantastic selection of beachside clubs and restaurants. Do you favor seafood, frozen treats, or exotic wines? Well, they have it all. When you’re tired, take a rest at one of our beachfront houses or resort hotels. On Cedar-7 everything is beachfront property, so you’re guaranteed to have a magnificent view of the ocean.

            Want more to do? Rent a boat and go out on the endless ocean. Hire a ride from one of our beachside horse ranches. Take a seat at one of our mega-piers and fish up some trophies for your mantel. Just don’t go out too far now, and if you see bubbles on the water’s surface that’s no fish, you want to bother with.

            Concerned about the weather? Don’t, Cedar-7 is one of the calmest* planets in the galaxy, tidal waves, earthquakes, and hurricanes are such a rarity you’d sooner win the lottery. As long as you remain in the resort areas, you won’t even have to consider your safety. There are no gangs after your money, no coyotes after your pets, no sharks to interrupt your swimming. Just remember, on the resort you’ll be safe as can be.

            Have any more concerns? Reach out to our help desk, they’ll answer any question you might have, and can even put you in contact with our highly trained** team of tour guides. However, they are not at liberty to talk about the area outside of the resort, nor can the guides take you there. Why? Well, that’s nothing you need to worry about, just don’t leave the resort, okay?

            So come on down to Cedar-7, the safest resort on this side of the galaxy.*** (Days since last incident 87 0).

*According to the Cedar-7 Meteorology Institute, this research is not supported by any government organizations.

**Cedar-7 Resort training regulations are not endorsed by the Intergalactic Mariner’s Association

***This claim is tot supported by any official government organization. Federal investigation pending. 

~~~~ 

Always read between the lines, especially when someone tries to sell you something.

Until next time, Read, Comment and Enjoy

~~~~ 

Support me on Patreon: [link]

Enigmatic Fantasies #36 - The Haunted (Porcelain) Throne [#106]

~~~~ 

            “Well there’s your problem,” the handyman explained as he pointed down the toilet.

            “What is it?” The confused woman asked, “is it the piping?”

            “No, nothing that simple,” he revealed, “your toilet isn’t working because it’s haunted.”

            “Oh no,” the woman gasped.

            “This won’t be cheap,” the handyman crouched over the toilet. “There’s some kind of specter in there, and they’ve lodged themselves pretty tightly in the pipes.”

            “Can you get it out?” The woman began to panic.

            “I’ll need to get some tools out of my car, but I should manage,” the handyman assured, “but this will be an all-day job.”

            “Oh dear,” the woman sighed, “I guess I’ll go find my checkbook then.”

            “Just one question ma’am,” the handyman stood up.

            “What?” She turned back.

            “Now these kinds of haunting don’t normally occur overnight,” he began. “If this toilet has got ghosts, then it’s possible other parts of your house might have a nasty case of specters.”

            “Oh heavens,” the woman felt her heart sink.

            “Don’t get too panicked yet ma’am, I haven’t even asked my question,” the handyman tried to calm her. “A haunting usually stems from something, did any family pass away recently? Do any friends or family dabble in the dark arts? Any graveyards nearby?”

            “Well,” the woman mumbled, “there was my grandfather, but the circumstances...”

            “If it happened in this house, it could be relevant,” the handyman pointed out.

            “I’d rather not say, for his sake,” the woman hid her embarrassment.

            “Oh, I’m sorry ma’am,” the handyman apologized, “but I think I know whose lodged in your pipes now.”

~~~~ 

Embarrassing incidents can create embarrassing problems, but someone still has to clean it up.

Until next time, Read, Comment and Enjoy

~~~~ 

Support me on Patreon: [link]

Strange Sci-fi tales #23 - Brilliant Plan, Flawless Plan [#105]

~~~~ 

            It was a brilliant plan, one without flaw. No one could find fault in such a perfect idea. It was simple really, Optopia-8 was a planet of only water, not a single plot of land above the water’s surface. Thus a fortress built on the planet would have a natural defensive advantage. Only attacks from the sea or air could fell such a structure. Since there was no need to spend an ounce of labor on land defense, air and sea defense would be so much easier.

            It was a wonderful plan, but most refused to acknowledge its splendor. Governments, militaries, and guilds wanted nothing to do with the water bound fortress. With no official support, the fort would need to funded out of pocket. There were private investors and plenty of laborers who could use the work so that wouldn’t be a significant problem, but it was an added bit of frustration. They’d see the error of their ways one day.

            It was an excellent plan, but few could understand the details. It took years to get the fortress built up to a livable standard. Three long, storm and hunger filled years. The laborers were paid but were still upset by the conditions. The investors had their fortress but were not pleased by how long it took. They’d soon see, once the fort proves to be untouchable it’ll all pay for itself.

            It was a perfect plan, it was without fault. While not complete the fortress was solid enough to weather storms and raids. Some opportunistic thugs and thieves tried to sink the mighty fortress, but they couldn’t even land on it. Their attack by air was repelled, and their assaults by sea ended disastrously for them. What horrors would have occurred if they had reached the fort? A pointless thought, because that could never happen.

            It was a faultless plan, but not without consequences. As the fortress was filled and further constructed, the laborers and staff began to feel off. Perhaps it was the confined, artificial space, it was not like they could go outside and stretch their legs. They missed the sensation of solid ground and had grown to despise the smell of seawater. Understandable frustrations, but they needed to hold out a little longer. Soon it would be all worth it.

            It was a brilliant plan, at one point at least. Tensions were high, the discomfort was tremendous, and the money could not solve any of it. Success, it was just around the corner, but the staff couldn’t stand it anymore. There were fights, raw emotions, and misplaced aggression. Usually, such a thing would hopefully pass with time, but it persisted. Then those thugs returned, better prepared and even more determined. The coordination needed to repel them couldn’t be mustered again. The thugs got their wish to sink the mighty fortress, although I don’t think they intended to be on it when it did. This shouldn’t have happened the fort was so close to perfection, right? It was a flawless plan, a wonderful plan, but could it have gone any differently?

~~~~ 

When you have grand ambitions it's easy to be blind to your smaller faults. Of course, even the smallest faults add up overtime.

Until next time, Read, Comment and Enjoy

~~~~ 

Support me on Patreon: [link]

Enigmatic Fantasies #35 - The Grim Intern [#104]

~~~~ 

            It had been an average day at the office. Work was done, coffee was drunk, and the manager daydreamed about a promotion. Then that girl with the scythe appeared on his desk. She was dressed like a goth who escaped from a comic book convention. She wore a grey robe decorated with skulls, and long black hair also decorated with a skull-shaped pin. She planted her rear right on top of the forms he was supposed to work on after lunch and stared at him with a smug grin on her face.

            “Who the heck are you?” The manager jabbed his finger in her face.

            “You can see me?” The girl gasped, “you must be closer to the end than I thought.”

            “Answer the question before I call security,” the manager raised his voice.

            “Fine, fine,” she raised both her arms in faux surrender, “I’m death... ’s intern.”

            “What?” The manager sputtered.

            “You see the boss man is really busy this time of year,” the Grim Intern explained. “So he sends out underlings like me to handle the less important souls that need reaping. I just got her a little early see.”

            “So here’s what we’re going to do,” the manager declared. “You’re going to scuttle off to whatever goth hangout you crawled out from before I call a psych ward and have you sectioned.”

            “No need to get hostile,” she replied, “besides, if I’m gone who’ll carry your soul into the afterlife?”

            “That’s it. I’m calling security,” the manager reached for the phone.

            “Fine have it your way, you’re still going to die,” the Grim Intern floated away and phased right through the manager’s office door. The manager felt a cold chill go up his spine, but he did his best to ignore it.

~--~

            As the day wore on the manager decided to slip out of his office and get a cup of coffee. He was ready for some relief from the busy day. Then he spotted the Grim Intern in wait for him in front of the coffee machine in the break room.

            “Why are you still here?” The manager snapped at her.

            “Just waiting,” she shrugged her shoulders.

            “Get out of my way I need my coffee,” the manager shooed her away, to which she obliged.

            “I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” the Grim Intern warned as the manager poured himself a cup of fresh coffee.

            “What did you poison it?” He accused her.

            “What no, I only take souls after they’re dead,” she assured, “I’m just giving you fair warning.”

            “Get out of her you freaky specter,” the manager growled. Again the Grim Intern floated away, phased through the wall and left only a chill in the air. The manager tried to ignore it and drink his coffee, but he felt a sudden paralyzing concern. Instead, he passed the coffee off to the first underling who came into the break room.

            “Here I made a fresh pot,” he lied, but the other man took it without complaint. Then immediately choked on the contents when he tried to drink it. The manager shrieked in horror, but the employee quickly recovered.

            “Dear lord, that coffee was horrible,” the employee coughed, “is the coffee machine broken again?” The manager wanted to slap himself in the face, almost as much as he wanted to yell at the Grim Intern.

~--~

            “I warned you about the coffee, didn’t I?” The Grim Intern floated behind the manager as he walked through the halls of the office, but he ignored her.

            ‘Don’t listen to her, she’s only a figment of your imagination,’ he told himself. ‘The more I humor her, the more my sanity will slip.’

            “Are you ignoring me? That’s rude, you know,” the Grim Intern pouted.

            ‘Ignore her, just walk faster, just reach the elevator,’ the manager increased his pace.

            “Hey, where are you going?” The Grim Intern sped up to keep up with him.

            ‘Why won’t she just go away,’ the manager grit his teeth and turned away from her.

            “Don’t ignore me,” she floated in front of his face, “it’s really unhealthy to ignore a specter of death.” The manager turned away from her again and shut his eyes tight, so he couldn’t see her.

            ‘Almost there, almost there,’ he thought to himself as he sped up further.

            “Fine have it your way,” the Grim Intern shrugged as the manager reached the elevator.

            ‘Finally,’ the manager breathed a sigh of relief as he stepped into the elevator and immediately plunged. In his hurry, he had failed to notice the out of order and warning signs plastered outside the empty elevator shaft. The fall wasn’t long, but the landing was anything but pleasant. As the darkness took him, he saw the Grim Intern again, she snagged his soul with her scythe and carried him away.

            “I told you not to ignore me, but you didn’t listen,” the Grim Intern laughed as they passed into the afterlife.

~~~~ 

Needless to say, ignoring the lingering specter of death is not a smart idea, regardless of what form it takes.

Until next time, Read, Comment and Enjoy

~~~~ 

Support me on Patreon: [link]