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Zelnator, Dark Lord of Evil, was the greatest villain to ever terrorize the earth. Few could stand against his might, just saying his name would strike fear into the hearts of men. He was the villain all villains dreamed of being, keyword ‘was.’ Nowadays, no one even gives him a second glance.
Zelnator sat upon his “mighty throne,” as he called it, which had a lovely view of a filth covered brick wall and a dumpster. He leaned back into his “throne” of torn fabric and stained polyester and sighed. The former dark lord clutched onto his “dark staff of power.” However, it was nothing more than a broken piece of rebar with a shiny rock tied to the top. His imagination raced with images of the fine, silk robes and ebony black armors he used to wear. Now all he had were torn jeans, a ratty, oversized fur coat, a crumbling shirt, and mismatched socks. The back alley he resided in was mostly empty, save for the occasional rat or stray cat. Zelnator had long since scared off anyone else who dared to encroach upon his “kingdom.”
The former dark lord scratched at his mangled, dirty beard, pondering where it all went wrong. “One day, I’ll have my revenge against that Johnny Commando and his color-coded friends,” Zelnator exclaimed to no one in particular. “Then I will rule this world,” he broke out into an evil laugh, which was interrupted by a coughing fit.
Unknown to him, just around the corner peaking from another alley was a little girl, no older than nine. She watched the crazy old man on the chair with interest but hadn’t dared to approach yet. When Zelnator finished coughing and appeared to doze off, the girl made her move. She sneaked as close as she could to the crazy old man, trying to get a better look at him.
“What do you want?” Zelnator asked without even turning to face her.
“What ya doing?” The little girl asked.
“Plotting my conquest of the world, now go away,” the former dark lord shooed her away.
“Why?” She asked.
“Do you know who I am?” Zelnator turned halfway to glare at her.
“No,” the girl admitted.
“I am Zelnator, Dark Lord of Evil,” he announced, “all that is good fears my presence.”
“Never heard of you,” the little girl replied.
“I fought Johnny Commando and his goodie good friends back in the day. Our battles shook the world and tore apart cities! Don’t they teach anything to the little brats these days?” Zelnator grumbled.
“Dunno,” the girl shrugged.
“Don’t you have school or something?” The crazy old man tried to wave her away again.
“It’s summer,” the little girl replied.
“Of course it is,” Zelnator grumbled. “Just go away, I need my thinking space.”
“Why?”
“To take over the world, of course.”
“Why?”
“Because I’m an evil overlord, that’s what I do.”
“Why?”
“No more questions!” Zelnator snapped. “Go find your parents or whatever, I don’t need someone to see us and call the cops on me again.”
“Why?”
“Alright, that’s it,” Zelnator stood up from his “throne” and pointed his staff at the girl. “Face the wrath of the mighty Zelnator!” The evil overlord called upon all the dark power at his fingertips. The skies clouded, the shadows danced, and a mass of energy formed around the staff. The gathered energy was released all at once and had all the might and terror of a wet fart. “Rotten thing is on the fritz again,” the former dark lord slapped his staff.
“You’re strange, mister,” the little girl chuckled.
“I don’t have time to deal with this,” Zelnator sighed and walked away. However, the little girl followed him and bombarded him with further questions, much to his chagrin. So continues the story of Zelnator, Dark Lord of Evil, he’d get back at his enemies one of these days, supposedly.
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You can dream of the glory days all you want, but that won't change your present situation.
Until next time, Read, Comment and Enjoy
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