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In the Halls of Corruption, deep within the Court of Envy, hordes of demons work tirelessly to twist and corrupt all would-be heroes and adventurers who come to challenge their great and mighty Demon Lord. Of course, even the darkest depths of evil have their share of screw-ups and morons.
“Pite, isn’t that the girl we brainwashed and released last week?” A portly imp asked his thin-as-a-stick companion.
“Not at all, Rudge, it’s a clone I created,” Pite chuckled to himself. The clone was the spitting image of the happy-go-lucky brunette they had been assigned a month ago. The adventurer had gotten separated from her companions, captured by the guard corps, and assigned to these two as their latest corruption project. Pite still remembered the glint of hope in the girl’s eye as she insisted her friends would save her with that goofy grin on her face. Now the clone had that same look in her eye, but was wrapped not in the greens and browns of a traveler, but the ebony black, horned armor of the demon’s army. “That little fool is probably all dazed and confused, wondering what happened to her, and when I release this beauty onto the world, she’ll be questioning if she’s even the real one. The clone, meanwhile, will constantly throw who is real and who isn’t into question, tearing her poor little mind to shreds!”
“S-since when was that the plan?” Rudge asked.
“It was always the plan…Well, I came up with it several days ago, didn’t I tell you?” Pite asked.
“No, I was cleaning up your sloppy work in brainwashing her these last few days,” Rudge revealed. “I altered her personality to be more malicious and bewitching, horrifying her friends until she inevitably betrays them.”
“Uh, I just messed up her memories and gave her a few fake ones of being experimented on,” Pite admitted, “I wanted her to question if she was the clone or not, I wasn’t going for a whole personality rewrite.”
“You could have told me that,” Rudge snapped.
“I thought you knew!” Pite yelled back.
“Great, now she’s back out in the world and her mind’s all jumbled,” Rudge sighed. “We’ll be lucky if she doesn’t have a psychotic break and ends up in an asylum. What a waste of effort.”
“Well, at least we have the clone,” Pite exclaimed.
“Yep, yep, yep,” the clone chirped.
“Why is she so cheery? Shouldn’t she be a little more…evil?” Rudge asked.
“Uh,” Pite whistled.
“You made the clone too perfect you moron!” Rudge throttled the other imp. “Now we have a cheery clone and an evil original with memory issues. If the boss finds out we screwed up another project, we’re dead meat.”
“We can still make this work. We can pretend the clone is the original, she’s close enough. They might buy it,” Pite assured.
“Who are we trying to fool, the adventurers or the boss?” Rudge inquired.
“Yes,” Pite replied flatly.
“Is there anything I can do?” The clone asked while leaning forward and pointing at herself. She certainly had the whole “cheery childhood friend” bit perfected.
“Just go to the human world and cause trouble, do evil things, torment your original, be useful!” Rudge ordered.
“Yeah, I’m going to go loiter and steal candy and put gum in her hair and help old ladies cross the street,” the clone riled herself up before racing off like a cartoon.
“Maybe you shouldn’t have given that last order,” Pite looked to the side.
“Oh, shut up,” Rudge slapped him. The two imps crossed their fingers and hoped their project would accomplish something. And she did, she became BFFs with her original and helped her go to therapy to recover her memories. Afterwards, they grew into fine adventurers who eventually defeated the two imp’s immediate boss, so their mistakes were never discovered. Unfortunately, they were also out of a job as their division of the Halls of Corruption was closed until they could find a new leader…whoops.
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Communication is key in producing quality work. Lack of communication is the fastest way to produce a cascade of mistakes.
Author's Note: I may have taken more than a little direct inspiration from other sources on this one, but darn it the idea was too fun to pass up.
Until next time, Read, Comment and Enjoy.
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