~~~~
What scares you most of all? The
strange neighbor down the street? Being stranded and alone? Insects, lizards,
spider and other creepy creatures of the night? How long have your fears
haunted you? For as long as you can remember? Since that one day in your
childhood? Since a recent accident? Do your fears eat and ebb away at your mind
every day. Do they remain in your subconscious subtly influencing your every
decision? Our fears define us more than we'd like to admit, they stalk our
lives and try to control our paths in life.
I have so many fears, some large,
some small, but all of them influence me. Maybe not daily, but often enough. It
starts with my most basic fear of public speaking. I dislike crowds and noisy
locations. The idea of being their center of attention can completely paralyze
me. School presentations were the worst for me, especially if I lacked a group
to lean on. However, in the long run, this fear is minor to me. I hate it so
much, but I can always force myself through. After all, the sooner I'm done
with it, the sooner I can escape it.
Other fears are not so easily
avoided. Porcelain dolls and similar figures send a chill up my spine. Thankfully,
I deal with very few in my daily life, and in the rare cases I do, I can brush
off their stares and run past.
The many monsters my mind conjured
as a child still creep in the corners of my conscious. Sometimes in the dead of
night, when the wind is heavy, I can feel the malevolence of those terrible
creatures. The illusionary specters and phantoms that terrified my child self
would return from the dark to frighten me again. I know they are not real, yet I
feel compelled to look in the direction of my door. As though I expect a beast
to stand there with its fangs bared. Then when I finally drift off into sleep,
what is to await me in my dreams but those same horrors of the night.
A less vivid and more instinctual
fear of mine is of fire and heat. The warmth of the fireplace in winter and of
tea in the morning is a welcome feeling. However, an open flame, an active oven
or a heated piece of metal always gives me pause. Rather than a direct fear of
fire, it is more accurate to say I fear the sensation of being burnt. It is a
fear ingrained deep into my mind and body. A scar across my palm, a permanent
reminder of the day a most foolish infant touched a hot stove. Even the simple
process of cooking must be laden with my own precautions, because of this fear.
Beyond instinct, there is the fear
that grips my daydreams, heights. Grand panoramic landscapes and tall buildings
fascinate me. However, the idea of being atop a tall building or similar
location makes me shudder. It is a fear that haunted my young self much more deeply.
As a child perceives the world as much bigger than it actually is. As such, my
fear simply changed tactic and assaulted me with a constant barrage of what
ifs. What if I fell from this height? What if this window gave way as I leaned
on it? What if I lost control of my car at it careened of this bridge into the
river? Such morbid daydreams liked to grip at my idle mind until I could dispel
them.
At the end of this path of fears is
the worst of all, and the simplest, the dark. The idea of what I can't see is
far more horrific than what I cannot. In the darkest of conditions, any number
of my fears can nest themselves out of sight. As they wait for the perfect
opportunity to strike. Does a monster stalk that dark hall? Does this shadow
consumed path overlook an obscured cliff? My child self believed any light
would ward off the dangers of the dark. As an adult, the light still comforts
me to an extent. As a reminder of how it shepherded me through the many dark
nights of my childhood.
I would like to say as a matured
human being I know my fear of the dark is irrational and no longer has a hold
over me. Yet, on some nights, when I put my book down and slip under the covers
to sleep. The lamp on my nightstand, which acts as my reading light, is left
on. Is it laziness? Forgetfulness? Or am I still afraid deep down?
~~~~
And with that, the horrors have come to an end. I hope you enjoyed these thirteen (+1) night of one hundred horrors. Next month we return to the regular schedule schedule of stories every Tuesday and Thursday. Now Thursdays are normally sober and mysterious fantasy stories, however I feel after a month of straight horror we need a little levity. So, tomorrow I'll put up a short and funny fantasy tale.Until then, Read, Comment and Enjoy.
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