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Thursday, November 1, 2018

Facetious Fantasies #1 - A Goblin's Invention [#48]

Here's a silly little story I wrote up to transition back into the normal schedule with some levity.
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            "Behold," stated the ecstatic goblin, "my greatest creation." He gestured at the mass of scrap metal, wires and sharp edges that towered over himself and his peers.
            "Is it a robot?" "No, it's a bomb!" "Is that one of those modern art things I've heard so much about?" The other goblins argued, completely mystified as to what they observed.
            "No you idiots," the inventor goblin yelled, "it's a big gun, it shoots bombs, can't you tell?" The other goblins stared at the mechanical monstrosity a little closer.
            "I don't see a barrel," one goblin observed.
            "I don't see an opening at all," another goblin realized.
            "I still think it's a bomb," a third goblin muttered.
            "You three nimrods," the inventor goblin groaned, "I'll show you, just stand right there." He pushed the third goblin closer to the metallic madness and pointed to a handle obscured at the base. "Just pull that and it'll fire."
            "Like this," the other goblin yanked on the handle. It pulled back like the cord to a lawnmower.
            "Yeah exactly like that," the inventor assured, "don't you dare let go until I say so." The other goblin continued to pull back on the cord while the other two watched with baited breath. Eventually, after he pulled the cord all the way back to the other end of the room the machine let out a small click.
            "Oh, does that mean it-" The goblin began, before being yanked back towards the machine. He was quickly pulled inside through a previously unseen opening. The machine groaned and growled as it started up before a large gun barrel emerged from the top. It fired with the force of a thunderclap. The screams of the goblin that held onto the cord only moment ago could be heard from far above.
            "Hey," one of the two goblins asked, "when is he supposed to let go?"
            "Oh right," the inventor goblin slapped himself in the head, "he was supposed to let go right after the click. Oh well, too late now."
            "Hey I want to try," a particularly foolish goblin requested. As the day progressed the sound of goblins being vaulted hundreds of feet into the air continued uninterrupted. A few very confused farmers wondered why goblins had begun to fall from the sky into their vegetable patches.

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October is behind us, and November is ahead. Time to go back to the usual schedule, which means sci-fi or general stories every Tuesday and fantasy and horror on Thursdays (but let's take a break from horror for a while okay?).
Until then, Read, Comment and Enjoy.

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