~~~~
Joel was often called an exterminator,
but not your usual kind. Some might say he deals with "exotic"
animals. While the creatures he dealt with were rare and exotic, there was
another more popular name for them, cryptids. Joel has seen it all, Jackalopes
in the basement and Mothmen in the attic. He's chased Chupacabra off of farms
and fished lake monsters out of swimming pools. Honestly, he was more of a
freelance animal control officer as he rarely had to actually exterminate. However,
today would be a new challenge for him.
It started off the same as always with
a phone call. A suburban woman called frantically saying there was a big hairy
creature in her living room. When he asked her to elaborate she affirmed this
mysterious beast was larger than her husband, harrier than a gorilla and walked
on two big feet. Joel knew right away what he was about to deal with, but it
still came as a shock. He'd never actually seen a Sasquatch before, let alone
one that had invaded a suburban house.
He was on the road within the minute
and quickly reached the woman's house. She was in a panic in her front yard,
but the relief on her face when he pulled up was palpable. Joel got out of his
truck fully armed for an encounter, but first, he walked up to her and shook
her hand.
"You must be Mrs.
Mulitzer," he greeted her.
"Oh, thank you," she
replied. "I'm so glad you got here as soon as you did, the kids will be
back from school in an hour. I don't want them getting anywhere near that
thing."
"Don't worry ma'am, I'll have him
out within the hour," he assured, "has the Sasquatch done anything of
note? Break a coffee table, attack your cat or anything else?"
"No nothing like that,"
Mrs. Multizer shook her head, "he's just been lurking in the living room,
giving me dirty looks. Oh, I left in such a hurry I left the TV on, could you
turn that off if you get the chance?"
"Sure thing," Joel agreed
and marched inside the house, his catchpole at the ready. He wondered if he'd
need to tranquilize the creature, or if he could simply coax it out of the
house with some food. Joel also wasn't sure if the Sasquatch was a protected
species or not, so he wanted to be very careful with how he handled the
situation. All those thoughts got thrown out the window when he finally saw the
beast for himself.
Seated on the couch in the living
room was the Sasquatch. It stared blankly at the television which displayed
some random reality show. The creature was focused entirely on the screen, as
though it was invested in the program.
"I can't tell if this just got
more or less complicated," Joel mumbled.
~~~~
They say music soothes the savage beast, but what about daytime television?Until next time, Read, Comment and Enjoy
~~~~
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