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I have an elder roommate, they're really
lazy and don't help much around the house. No, not an "elderly"
roommate, an elder roommate. No I don't mean they're older than, I mean they
are by a long shot, but that's not what I meant by elder. Maybe you'll
understand if I explain a typical day in our apartment. Just last week I asked
them to take out the trash while I did the dishes.
"Could you for once in your
life take out the trash?" I asked them, "I'm knee deep in these
dishes." They refused with a grumble and continued to watch the
television. "It'll take you like five minutes at most," I affirmed,
but they still ignored me. "Think of it as repaying me for spotting you
some rent money last month," I stated. Finally, they turned towards me,
opened one of their seven mouths and spoke.
"Foolish creature, I have
already repaid your tribute," they spoke in a voice that caused plants to
curl up and die. "I have allowed you to live, that is repayment enough. Or
do you wish to be torn asunder by my ten thousand hands?" The whole
building shuddered as they spoke. I could hear all the neighborhood animals
going ballistic outside our window.
"You say that every week,"
I countered, "what about the landlord? Do you allow him to live out the
kindness in your heart?"
"Hold thy tongue," their
voice echoed from every shadow. "This abode is the only one within these
lands that will accept my kind, and that cursed baron overcharges us because of
it!"
"You didn't answer my
question," I pointed out, but they just slunk back into the couch to watch
their reality show. "You could at least take out the trash with one of
your ten thousand hands." They muttered a bit, but finally relented and
carried the trash out. They didn't even have to get up from the couch and
instead carried it outside with an endless sea of boney hands.
So yeah that's my problem, Mr.
scourge of the world refuses to do any work around the house no matter how
trivial. No, I've already tried hiring a priest, they just run the second they
see him. So do you have any other suggestions?
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A lazy roommate is a lazy roommate, no matter their shape, size or species. The more you let them rest of their loins the harder it will be the prompt them to do anything. Of course if your roommate happens to be an elder god who speak with a thousand tongues, maybe it's best to just leave them be.Until next time, Read, Comment and Enjoy
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