Previously on the Beginner’s Guide to Everything, Mary Brown, the most normal girl in the multiverse, was shanghaied by local weirdo Ronnie Ray into an impromptu inter-dimensional road trip. Mainly because the universe they were currently in was about to be destroyed as part of a natural multiversal pruning process.
Unfortunately for Mary, Ronnie was a dimension-hopping fugitive on the run from the law for a string of petty crimes. Ronnie had taken Mary, hoping the girl’s infamous normalcy would cover her escape. It did not, and now the pair were surrounded by a squad of armed soldiers from GOTM.
~--~
‘This is not how I expected this day to go,’ Ronnie thought to herself as the GOTM soldiers wrestled her to the ground, their guns trained on the back of her head. ‘When I caught that emergency signal on my radio this morning, I thought it was a poor taste joke,’ the fugitive recalled as she was cuffed. ‘Alas no. My perfect hiding spot universe just had to be pruned away. Plus, those nosy jerks at GOTM just had to keep a close eye on all the interdimensional activity around it.’
“You have the right to remain silent,” one of the GOTM soldiers exclaimed. “Everything you say, think, imply and consider can and will be used against you in court.”
“Yeah, yeah, I’ve heard it a million times,” Ronnie rolled her eyes as they yanked her up by her pink hair. Meanwhile, Mary was feeling conflicted.
At first, the poor woman was terrified. Her whole life and everything she knew had just been destroyed for reasons nobody had adequately explained. Then the sci-fi cops had surrounded her, leaving her to wonder what sort of horrifying prison she’d be thrown in for associating with Ronnie. But now, she was merely confused.
The brunette had balled up on the ground and started crying, waiting for the cops to cuff her, but they never did. In fact, they outright ignored her and focused only on Ronnie. At first, Mary just sat there frozen, still balled up. Then she thought to ask why they weren’t arresting her. Of course, the woman quickly realized such a question was foolish and kept her mouth shut.
“Aren’t you going to arrest her too?” Ronnie threw Mary under the bus.
‘Damn it,’ Mary swore internally.
“Huh?” The GOTM soldier dragging Ronnie away looked back at Mary. He squinted in the secretary’s direction as though he was struggling to see her. “Oh, I guess there is someone there. She kind of blends in. Who is she?”
“My accomplice,” Ronnie lied.
“Wow, thanks,” Mary sarcastically replied.
“You’re welcome,” the fugitive grinned.
“Aghh,” the GOTM soldier groaned. “Well, we were only after the one. I guess she did cross a dimensional boundary illegally, but that’s like another hour of paperwork.” Mary did not dare to make a response. Either out of fear or utter bewilderment was hard to say.
“Just throw her in the back seat,” another soldier proposed.
“Works for me put her in, boys,” the GOTM soldier ordered.
“Back seat of what?” Mary inquired as two soldiers grabbed her by the arms and dragged her away.
~--~
Before long, Mary and Ronnie were carried over to a large vehicle shaped like a bottle. A row of panels opened along the side, which each soldier filed into. Ronnie was chucked into the centermost panel, while Mary was gently set into the backmost.
“Can I ask a-?” Mary started as the panel shut behind her. “I guess not.” The brunette looked around. The room she was in was relatively thin. With only inches of space in front of her nose. Mainly because it was lined with so much padding. Along the back wall, the same side as the ship’s rear was a row of seats with over-the-shoulder restraints, kind of like a roller coaster.
“Please take your seats,” a mechanical voice echoed throughout the vessel.
“Okay,” Mary quickly sat down and pulled the restraint down over her.
“Launch sequence initiated, 10...9...” The mechanical voice began a countdown. Mary braced herself, hoping to be ready for whatever was about to happen. “8...6...4....”
“Wait, what?” Mary was taken off guard by the skipped numbers.
“3...5...12...192...7...” The voice spouted off random numbers.
“Is this a joke?” The secretary asked.
“Yes, just having some fun with you,” the voice chuckled.
“Oh, okay, when do we-?” Mary replied.
“3, 2, 1 Go!” The voice exclaimed. Mary quickly rebraced herself, but it was all for not.
Most would expect the vessel’s back to be where the propulsion comes from. However, the Starford 898 Bottle-Class ship stands in defiance of this concept. Many GOTM pilots were quite frustrated with how much control they have over their propulsion, a very crucial part of interdimensional travel. Thus the Bottle-Class ships place the engines at the front of the ship, right in front of the cockpit. This way, the pilot has total control over their propulsion down to the most minute level. Steering is another matter, but direction, height, and distance are such non-concepts in the boundless void between dimensions that no one seems to mind. Landing, however...
After a mere twenty-minute voyage, the vessel crashed into the ground, shaking Mary around like a water balloon in a car seat. Thankfully, the padding in front of her cushioned her repeated face plants into the wall. She was woozy but not brain-damaged from the experience.
“Thank you for flying with us,” the mechanical voice returned.
“You’re welcome,” Mary saw stars while suppressing the urge to vomit.
The padded wall in front of her opened up like a sliding glass door. Emerging from the passage was a girl on the short side. She had cybernetic bits in place of ears, her eyes appeared to be lenses, and there was a pair of tiny but angel-like wings on her back. She had short blue hair and a big grin on her face as she watched Mary sit there dazed.
“Save the vomit for outside the ship, please,” the cyborg stated in the same tone as the mechanical voice.
“No promises,” Mary groaned.
~--~
“Are we forgetting anything?” The GOTM soldier wondered.
“I don’t think so,” his fellow soldier replied as they dragged Ronnie out of the bottle ship. The pink-haired fugitive was putting up little resistance. Mostly because she was too busy trying not to puke her guts out.
At that moment, the back panel of the ship opened, revealing Mary, who stumbled out. The brunette tried and failed to walk in a straight line before falling over onto the ground and sobbing.
“Oh, right,” the GOTM soldier recalled the face that Mary existed.
“What do you want to do with this one?” The cyborg peeked out of the ship, sparing a quick glance at the ailing Mary.
“Just take her to the waiting room in the station, A-2,” the GOTM soldier answered. “Give her a glass of water and a cookie or something while we deal with this one.”
“Roger dodger,” A-2 saluted and picked up Mary liked she was a ragdoll and carried the brunette off.
“You’re letting her off easy aren’t yeah?” Annie commented, her nausea having faded.
“Why, who was she?” The GOTM soldier asked.
“Seriously?” Annie rolled her eyes. “I know she’s forgettable, heck I don’t even remember her name half the time, but I told you she’s my accomplice.”
“I think I remember you saying something like that a while back,” the soldier admitted.
“It was twenty minutes ago!” Ronnie pointed out.
“Whatever, tell it to the judge,” the GOTM soldier brushed off her statement and shoved her forward.
To Be Continued...
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Sometimes you have to make the most of a bad situation, sometimes you're just along for the ride.
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