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“So, Mr. Darks,” the interviewer looked at his clipboard. The small back office to the local Gate-Mart was stuffy from the summer heat. The small desk fan chugged along as best it could to keep the two men cool. “Why do you want to work for Gate-Mart?” The interviewer pulled down his clipboard to view the man sitting across from him. Mr. Darks sat in the small plastic chair, decked out in an elaborate black and purple costume. Complete with a massive black cape and a face-concealing helmet straight out of an old sci-fi movie.
“I, Lord Darks, the greatest of evildoers,” Mr. Darks exclaimed, “have carefully researched all the business within a thirty-mile radius. According to my flawless research, Gate-Mart provides the most stable hours, best benefits, and healthiest working environment in the region. A stable career is the first step in my renewing my plans for world domination.”
“I see,” the interviewer noted. “So, your last job was as a supervillain, I assume? Why did you leave it?”
“Your insolent assumption is correct,” Mr. Darks replied. “As for why I left, well, the recession hit everyone in my profession fairly hard. Super villainy just doesn’t pay the bills like it used to. After a few years of belt-tightening and downsizing, I was forced to fold my operation entirely and return to the regular workforce. Now villainy is more of a hobby I do on the side.”
“I see,” the interviewer nodded. “What would you say is your greatest strength?”
“I am the greatest villain who ever lived,” Mr. Darks answered. “The vilest, most powerful, and unyielding evil force this world will ever know. I’m also a detail-oriented worker and a team player.”
“Alright, then what is your greatest weakness?” The interviewer asked.
“The righteous protectors of the world and a rare chemical found only in some parts of space,” Mr. Darks began. “Also, sometimes because of my passion for work, I become too lost in the minutia of my current assignment, and I’m forced to take a step back.”
“I see,” the interviewer seemed pleased. “Well, your resumé looks good, and you certainly have a passion for the work. I think we just might have a place on our team for you, Mr. Darks. We’ll reach out to you in the near future for the next step.”
“So, I got the job?” Mr. Darks asked.
“Looks like it so far. Keep an eye on your phone,” the interviewer answered.
“Excellent, I shall return soon,” Mr. Darks stood up from the chair with a dramatic flair before whipping his cape around and galivanting out the door.
“You meet some of the strangest people in retails,” the interviewer said to himself.
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Until next time, Read, Comment and Enjoy
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