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He lived his life with
constant uncertainty, terrified of potential failure, and humiliation. Being
out in crowds was one thing, engaging socially at a school or workplace was
another. Neither were his preferred places to be, but he could manage, it’d
just leave him mentally drained.
However, there was a
point that changed. Unknown factors, unknown places, new workplaces, and peers.
Those terrified him to the very core. Setting up an interview at a potential
workplace filled him with a nameless fear. Directly talking to a new person
would induce panic. Even applying for a new job would make him nervous.
He wasn’t sure why this
happened, even he knew it was all irrational fears. But that was exactly it, it
was entirely illogical. A fear with no basis in reality, an overacting
instinct, a mountain formed from a molehill. There was no source, no underlying
psychology, only sheer, random instinct. It was internal, a struggle against a
part of his brain that refused to step out of its comfort zone.
It frustrated him, he
only wanted to move forward in life, but a part of him firmly held itself in
place. He hoped to find a way to circumvent it, to trick that panicked part of
his brain. Perhaps he’d find something close enough to his comfort zone, then
work his way out of it from there. A more selfish side of himself wondered if
there was a way to never leave his comfort zone and still move forward.
However, deep down, he
knew that the best way to move forward was to simply push his anxiety to the
side and soldier on. It sounded so simple, it should be easy. But was it
really? Could anyone who’s struggled with a problem for years suddenly overcome
it at the drop of a hat?
That’s the conundrum he
was left with at the end of every day. Was solving this problem easy or hard?
He’d just have to find out. The only thing he hoped now was that he’d find the
answer soon.
~~~~
Most certainly not based on a true story. Until next time, Read, Comment and Enjoy
~~~~
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