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Tuesday, January 21, 2020

Eclectic Narratives #19 - Employee Welcome [#156]

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From: ■■■■■■@whiterock■■■.■■■
Subject: Employee Welcome

Dear Dr. ■■■■■,

Hello and welcome to the Whiterock ■■■■■■, we are happy you’ve accepted our job offer. We hope you become a valuable asset to the future development of our little organization once you get settled into your role.

As discussed in your interview, you will report directly to ■■■■■■. However, you will be expected to report to other senior staff members as necessary.

We apologize for the initial delays, but we take our security extremely seriously. Thankfully, your extensive background check revealed nothing that would disqualify you from the position. But, be aware that you will be continuously monitored from here on out. The leaking of any company secrets, intentional or not, will result in immediate termination. We understand that may appear harsh; however, when you gain a better appreciation of our work and goals, you’ll understand the need for secrecy.

New employee orientation will be held in the ■■■■■■ building on October ■, 2■■■, at 8:00 am. You will have a chance to speak with fellow newcomers, as well as long-standing members. We will also take that as an opportunity to meet face to face and get you up to speed on our current projects. Do not be late.

Before your arrival, we would like to set ground rules for your initial entry into Whiterock:

1.      Questions shall be limited to matters that are directly related to your position. You are allowed to ask about your pay, temperament of your coworkers, size of the department, and your living arrangements. You are not permitted to ask the same of other departments, or anything about the organization as a whole.

2.      Do not leave your group during orientation. Your position will be immediately revoked, and you will be removed from the premises and ■■■■■■.

3.      Do not approach or speak with staff unrelated to your orientation. Especially those in ■■■■■■ uniforms.

4.      If you see anyone unrelated to your orientation suffering a medical emergency or otherwise acting strange, do not approach them. Our on-site medical personnel are more than capable of handling any such emergencies. They will likely be notified long before you have a chance to report it.

5.      In the event of a crisis, you will be directed to the closest panic room and contained there until further notice.

6.      If you discover any strange or alarming happenings, such as a gas leak, overly aggressive personnel, misplaced items, or escaped lab experiments (most frequently animals, or ■■■■■■), then report it to the nearest staff member. Preferably the one leading your orientation.

7.      Do not under any circumstance, ■■■■■■■■■■■■ or ■■■■■■■■■■■■. Either will result in immediate ■■■■■■ , and your position will be revoked.

Again, welcome to our organization. We look forward to working with you in the near future.

Regards,
■■■■■■

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In certain jobs and positions, a level of secrecy is expected. When it reaches an absurd extent, then you're likely in to deep to ever get out again.

Until next time, Read, Comment and Enjoy
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