Part 1: [link]
Part 2: [link]
Part 3: [link]
Part 4: [link]
Part 5: [link]
Part 6: [link]
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Previously on the Beginner’s Guide to Everything, Mary Brown, the most normal girl in the multiverse, started her first job as a member of a factoid team at the Beginner’s Guide office. Her mission: survey Hazard, the danger dimension. As can be expected, things went wrong immediately, with their ship crashing and giant lizards eating her coworkers. The cyborg A-2 had to go and make things worse by opening her big mouth and tempting fate, thus leading to a giant three-headed T-Rex charging into their camp. An event that would also endanger the interdimensional fugitive Ronnie Ray, who would teleport into the middle of this mess at an undetermined but rapidly approaching moment.
~--~
Mary, A-2, Triz, and Jerry debated whether they should run for their lives, freeze in shock or hide. Mary, unaccustomed to high-stress workplaces, froze in absolute horror. A-2 was forced to remain with her as Mary’s hands were still clamped around the cyborg’s mouth. Triz wasted no time in running for dear life, while Jerry remembered he was a sentient gas cloud, and the monster wouldn’t eat him regardless.
Triz wisely ran out the ship’s back end, breaking open a window before diving out and bolting for the tree line. The rest of the survey team ran around like headless chickens, making them quick food for the three-headed lizard. Jerry just floated above the whole massacre, hoping to ride it out. Mary continued to stare at the bloodbath before her, having completely forgotten her ever-tightening grip on A-2’s mouth. The cyborg appeared largely unbothered by Mary’s grip but continued to speak as though her voice wasn’t muffled.
Having eaten or scared off most of the survey team, the monster decided that the giant metal thing lounging in its territory would be its next target. Mary watched the beast charge her with a silent acceptance that she was likely about to die. Usually, she’d be screaming her head off, but absolute shock tends to take the air out of your lungs.
So, as you can imagine, she was quite surprised that she wasn’t dead once the T-rex tore through the ship. In fact, the beast seemed to deliberately avoid her as it ripped apart every section of the vessel except the bit she was standing on. However, there was only so much ship for the monster to destroy before it got to her. So, in her brief moment of lucidity, Mary finally worked up the courage to run for it.
A-2 followed after her before skipping ahead into the tree line. Mary’s legs gave out before then, and she collapsed onto a nearby rock. The three-headed monster had grown bored of trying to eat metal by then and turned around to find the two tiny shapes that had run off in the middle of its mauling.
‘Okay, I need to stay perfectly still, it’s vision is based on movement, right?’ Mary thought. ‘No wait, wasn’t that disproven? And is this even a T-rex or a suspiciously similar alien and…? Oh shit no…’ Mary snapped out of her chain of thought long enough to remember there was a man-eating monster marching towards her.
Thankfully, it seemed to beast was still partially oblivious to her presence and had its eyes on the trees rather than Mary. If she was absurdly lucky, the lizard might just pass her by. Unfortunately, she would never know if that would be the case, as that’s when Ronnie Ray, fresh off her escape from the cryo-prison, beamed to her location.
“What is she-?” Ronnie noticed Mary’s terror. “Oh, F-!” Ronnie’s curse was cut short as she narrowly dodged the lizard’s chomp. The fugitive ran with speeds that would make Olympic sprinters blush with envy as she fled from the lumbering beast.
“Why is she here?” Mary wondered before realizing she had been blessed with another chance to escape and decided not to waste it. Fleeing into the tree line, she ran into A-2, who was currently carving a hole into a tree to hide in. “What good will that do?”
“If it can’t see us, it can’t eat us,” was A-2’s logic. “Also, you might want to cover yourself in this.” The cyborg splashed Mary with some mud. As the ground shook again, Mary decided not to argue and dived into the tree with A-2. The lizard came stomping buy, ripping, and tearing everything in its path. A few moments later, Ronnie came by, breathing heavily.
“Stupid lizard fell for the old double-back trick,” Ronnie noticed the tree with the hole in it and wandered over to hide.
“Boo!” The mud-covered A-2 sprang out, damn near giving the pink-haired fugitive a heart attack.
“For fuck’s sake, mud people,” Ronnie leaped back. “Oh, wait it’s just M…whatshername and someone I don’t know.”
“Well, if it isn’t R…whatshername who almost got me killed twice in the same day,” Mary realized she didn’t remember Ronnie’s name.
“I could say the same. What are you doing in this cursed place!” Ronnie exclaimed.
“I got a job, and I didn’t read the fine print,” Mary admitted. “What are you doing here?”
“Oh, I put a transmitter on you back at the station,” Ronnie revealed. “It should have beamed me into an endless office complex that I could hide out in until the heat died down.”
“Well excuse me for not being your perfect escape plan,” Mary yelled. “I just want to go home…Not even that; I just want to be somewhere safe again.”
“Well, Mr. three-heads ate our ship and most of our coworkers, so that’s going to be hard,” A-2 pointed out. “Hey, if Triz isn’t alive anymore, can I be the boss?”
“Knock yourself out,” Mary shrugged as she turned back to the now – hopefully – safe camp.
~--~
It was about what she expected, a pile of scrap that was once their ship. Blood everywhere, three headless giant lizards, possessions, and equipment scattered around. Surprisingly, there were no remnants of her coworkers; Mary assumed the monster didn’t like leaving food on its plate.
Thankfully, Jerry and Triz had survived the ordeal, much to A-2 mild disappointment on the latter. Regardless, the group reconvened and discussed what to do next. Much fuss was brought up over who the hell Ronnie was, but the fugitive passed herself off as a new employee. A-2 found the idea too amusing to deny, and no one bothered to listen to Mary.
“I know you’re all likely displeasssed over today’sss eventsss,” Triz stated. “Not to worry, I’ve found a sssilver-lining.”
“Dare I even ask?” Mary said, knowing she would be ignored.
“Thisss,” Triz revealed a gold coin, which immediately caught Ronnie’s attention. “When I ran off in the other direction, I found a whole trail of thessse. Looksss like there be treasssure nearby.”
“Now that’s a corporate initiative I can’t get behind,” Ronnie jumped for joy.
“What good is treasure if we’re all going to die anyway?” Mary pointed out.
“Onwardsss, men…er women and gasss cloud,” Triz ignored Mary and marched off back towards the direction of the supposed treasure. Everyone followed suit, aside from Mary at first, but not wanting to be alone, she reluctantly followed. Better to die rich than in a lizard’s belly, right...Right?
To Be Continued…
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The most important part about dealing with a disaster in the workplace is recovery and bouncing back. Time is money after all and downtime leads to lost profits. So, it's important to be able to keep downtime in the face of disaster to a minimum and recover as quickly and fully as reasonably possible within your capabilities. Who knows, maybe said disaster could be the key to future successes and opportunities?
Until next time, Read, Comment and Enjoy
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