Strange Sci-fi Tales - The Beginner's Guide to Everything Part 4

Part 1: [link]

Part 2: [link] 

Part 3: [link]

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           Previously on the Beginner’s Guide to Everything: Mary Brown, the most normal girl in the multiverse, found herself in GOTM HQ after she was kidnapped by interdimensional renegade Ronnie Ray. Fortunately, this kidnapping occurred approximately 10.734 seconds before her entire universe was destroyed as part of a natural pruning process. Unfortunately, this led the two right into a GOTM sting.

           Ronnie was arrested for her petty crimes and sentenced to 1,000 solar cycles in cryo prison. Mary, with nowhere to go, was given a job at the Beginner’s Guide offices. She replied to this offer by having a mental breakdown.

~--~

           Mary Brown found herself standing before the Beginner’s Guide offices, a thin manila folder clutched in her hand. The offices were quite impressive, not visually or structurally, or in how technologically advanced they were, but in sheer size. While no taller than your average office building on any number of Earths, the offices stretched on for what seemed like forever.

           Mary looked behind her, sparing once last glance at GOTM HQ, which floated in the void above. The location was easily the size of a city and appeared nothing short of a technological marvel. Which made it all the more bizarre to Mary that on the ground below were infinite normal-looking office buildings.

           The brunette looked down at said ground, but she wasn’t sure if that was the right term to use. There wasn’t any dirt or plants, just an endless white floor that felt solid but was too clean to be natural. Although, it didn’t seem artificial either. That’s because it wasn’t, but Mary had no way to know for sure.

           The center of the multiverse is nothing more than a boundless void, and what is and isn’t there is solely defined by collective agreement. The Beginner’s Guide offices do not exist upon solid ground, but merely a spot in the void everyone decided would be solid ground. Of course, if you went around convincing people it wasn’t, which was technically true, the offices would immediately fall into the void. Thankfully, that was unlikely to happen.

           Mary gathered every ounce of courage she could muster, which if measured physically could fit in a thimble, and failed to take a step forward. Lucky for her, A-2 had accompanied the secretary and shoved her through the front door. The brunette wanted to protest but didn’t have time as the cyborg punted her through the entrance.

           While Mary would have liked nothing more than to lay upon the office floor and slowly expire. Social anxiety about being seen lying on the ground in a heap pressured her into standing up. The bored receptionist, who appeared mostly human except for the fact she had six arms, eight eyes, and sharp fangs, didn’t even look up from her four crossword puzzles.

          “I’m here for a...job interview?” Mary stated with hesitation. She didn’t actually know what she was here for, just that the office needed more staff.

           “What she means is, GOTM sent her like you asked,” A-2 corrected.

           “You’re hired,” the receptionist stated. “Go through that door, find an unoccupied computer and look busy until someone gives you real work,” she pointed at a big metal door to her left.

           “That’s it? Can she do that? I’m confused?” Mary asked.

           “Yep, just go,” A-2 shoved her along. They moved right through the door and out into a truly massive cubicle farm. The sight of which made Mary cry in horror and amazement. Mostly horror. Creatures of all shapes and sizes sat in each cubicle, from humans to dogs, to robots and aliens. Demons, elves, angels, and even a sentient mass of jelly rounded out the ranks of office drones. Never before had Mary seen something so fantastical yet utterly mundane.

           “Huh, no empty cubicles around here,” A-2 commented. “You’re in luck though, the office goes on forever, so there’s bound to be one eventually.”

           “You know, maybe I should just go home,” Mary took a step back. “The glue factory wasn’t such a bad job.”

           “Wasn’t your entire universe destroyed?” A-2 pointed out.

           “That’s what people keep telling me, but no one said why,” Mary snapped.

           “Well you know erosion?” A-2 replied.

           “Y-yeah?”

           “It’s like that, but beyond cosmic scale,” A-2 explained. “I’d give you a detailed explanation, but it’d probably make your puny, lower realm brain explode.”

           “Okay, second question” Mary suppressed another mental breakdown, “why are you following me around?”

           “I’ve got nothing better to do,” was A-2’s reply.

           “Are you sure?” the brunette asked in concern.

           “Well, I was the navigation for that bottle ship you rode on,” A-2 revealed, “but I decided I’m going to quit that job and follow you around for the rest of eternity.”

           “Why?” Mary exclaimed.

           “After working at the back of a ship that crashes on that side every time it lands, I need a distinct lack of excitement in my life right now,” A-2 answered. “Also, I think your reactions are amusing, and I hope to see more of that. Plus, I got nothing better to do.”

           “Right,” Mary sighed. ‘The first person to ever notice me, and she just follows me around because she enjoys my pain. Fuck it, I’ll take it,’ the brunette reluctantly accepted this fact.

           “I’m looking for someone to do real work!” A bossy-looking man stomped out into the cubicle farm. Suddenly, all the other various workers became extremely busy or needed to be somewhere else. Those that couldn’t manage that just hid under their desks. Mary, a veteran of office work, was quick to follow in their footsteps.

           “This girl needs real work,” A-2 announced, pointing at Mary.

           “Good,” the bossy man grabbed both girls by the arm and dragged them off. Mary tried desperately to pull herself free but swiftly tired herself out and gave up. A-2 just laughed the whole way.

~--~

           The Beginner’s Guide to Everything advertises itself as the de facto guide of surface-level information to all things in existence. While you won’t find the meaning of life or advanced arithmetic, you will find a vast collection of general information on anything you could hope to imagine.

           The initial version was a crowd-sourced encyclopedia that could be freely edited by any yahoo with an internet connection. It simply grew from that point, greatly aided by the invention of the interdimensional internet. Thankfully, half the work was done already, as the idea for a crowd-sourced encyclopedia was among the thirty-seven and a half ideas that are multiversal constants.

           As a result, the Beginner’s Guide simply needed to incorporate the information from the other, already written, encyclopedias. Sometimes by purchasing the information or rights, but usually by highlighting each page, right-clicking, and hitting copy. Thankfully, the arcane and confusing interdimensional court system has prevented any copyright lawsuit from being successfully filed against the Beginner’s Guide.

           Topics covered by the Beginner’s Guide include, but are not limited to: Food, political systems, lost civilizations, top ten lists, and the controversy over the use of interdimensional and multiversal as interchangeable words in its pages. In the latter’s case, its entire entry consists solely of the phrase “Shut Up.” Further revisions pending, but a popular frontrunner for the next edition is, “Because shut up, that’s why.”

~--~

           “...And here at the Beginner’s Guide offices, we must continue to strive for a constant flow of information to keep our reader’s mildly interested,” the bossy man rambled on. He had babbled on for an impressively long amount of time. Still, Mary had lost interest in the spectacle halfway into the third hour. A-2 had fallen asleep within the first ten minutes.

           “Is there a point to all this?” Mary had finally worked up the courage to interrupt him. Or rather, her capacity for giving a damn had long since been eroded away to the point that she didn’t care about being polite.

           “Oh, right, the work,” the bossy man finally acknowledged Mary’s presence. “You see, there is always more information out there to collect for the Beginner’s Guide. Henceforth we need an infinite number of survey teams working round the clock to keep up with it.”

           “Okay,” Mary nodded. ‘This might actually be interesting. Exploring other universes might keep my mind off the existential terror that’s been hanging over my head since my universe wiped out in the blink of an eye.’

           “And to support those survey teams, we need assistants,” the man continued.

           “Oh,” the brunette realized that her status as a new employee would likely leave her with all the busywork.

           “And to support those assistants, we need more assistants,” the bossy man explained.

           “What?” Mary realized that even her adjusted expectations were too optimistic.

           “You,” he pointed at A-2, “will be the assistant surveyor for factoid team 8599238301408-B. And you,” the bossy man told at Mary, “will be the assistant assistant surveyor for the very same factoid team.”

           “What’s a factoid team?” Mary prayed it was something interesting.

           “It’s simple,” the bossy man dropped a doorstop of a book on the table. The hardcover behemoth dwarfed the size and thickness of even the mightiest encyclopedias Mary had ever laid eyes upon. The way the table seemed to buckle under its weight implied it was far heavier as well. In big, bold letters, the words “The Beginner’s Guide to Everything” was written on the front, with “1,835,038,407th edition” written in the bottom in gold letters.

           The bossy man pried open the hardcover tome, whose pages flowed like a river made of pop-up books. The pages folded and flipped, but not as a linear series of pieces of paper, but a labyrinth of text. The man flipped to a random page, numbered “C-339ufj3834.” It detailed a general overview of a mid-level dimension where all life forms were made of plastic.

           “Very interesting,” Mary dug up the best comment she could find.

           “No, no, here,” the bossy man pointed at a little box in the corner labeled “fun fact.”

           “The Plastic Dimension, as it was named by the State of the Obvious Committee,” the box read, “is home to 4,872 types of plastic that exist nowhere else in the multiverse.”

           “Interesting, no?” The man smiled.

           “No,” Mary stated her honest opinion.

            “Well, you’re in luck,” the bossy man ignored her. “It’s your job to help others make those little boxes a reality. Just sit at your desk, and you’ll get a message on your computer with the information. You’ll put it into a pre-selected spot on the template page and send it off to the editors for review.”

           “So, I’m just a needless middle man?” Mary pointed out.

           “I know, isn’t it great?” The bossy man beamed with pride. “Meanwhile, your robot friend there will be on-site sending those messages to you. Isn’t that exciting?” Mary held her tongue. A-2 just snored loudly.

~--~

           “Even in the most fantastical place imaginable, my life is still so dull,” Mary lamented her new lot in life. On one hand, she should be grateful she was alive. However, acknowledging that would remind her that her universe was destroyed mere hours ago, and she still wasn’t ready to unpack that.

           “At least you got an easy gig,” A-2 looked on the bright side while she packed up her things. The two were in what Mary assumed was A-2’s home. A 2-meter by 2-meter cube apartment back in GOTM HQ. “Just don’t piss off any scary-looking coworkers, and you’ll be fine.”

           “Why are you so ready to leave me behind. I thought you said you wanted to follow me around?” Mary asked.

           “I said I had nothing better to do, now I do,” A-2 admitted.

           “Good point,” Mary whined. “Wait,” the former secretary had a flash of inspiration, “take me with you.”

           “That’s not part of your job,” A-2 replied.

           “But I’m your assistant now, right?” Mary argued. “What’s the problem with me following you?”

           “Are you bored?” A-2 missed the point.

           “No, I just don’t want to be here,” Mary cried. “I don’t want to spend the rest of my life in an infinitely large office building being constantly reminded of how insignificant I am. I’d rather be somewhere...No, anywhere theoretically interesting to keep my mind off my oncoming mental breakdown.”

           “So you’re throwing yourself into extra work to ignore your problems?” A-2 pointed out.

           “Well...yes, I guess,” Mary had no witty reply.

           “Okay,” A-2 shrugged. “This outta be fun.”

           “I certainly hope so,” Mary hoped she wouldn’t regret this. Unfortunately for her, she would. In fact, this might go down as the single biggest mistake of her life. Just above the time, she tried to ride a unicycle backward down a mile-long hill for attention. That instance was a mistake because no one showed up to watch her spectacular failure. This time, however, her mistake consequences would have far more long-term effects than personal embarrassment.

To Be Continued...

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Getting a new job is often a stressful experience, new expectations, responsibilities and coworkers are all thrown at you at once. Then sometimes you end up doing exactly what you did at your last job, but in a different office. It's a wonder people are desperate to break up the monotony.

Until next time, Read, Comment and Enjoy 

~~~~ 

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Strange Sci-fi Tales - The Beginner's Guide to Everything Part 3

Part 1: [link]

Part 2: [link]

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           Mary sat in the GOTM waiting room alongside the cyborg A-2. The brunette was slowly munching on a cookie, but she didn’t have much of an appetite. Mary didn’t quite know where she was, or what GOTM was or why this cyborg gave her cookies. As far as she knew, this was some kind of sci-fi police station, and she was next in line to be interrogated. Or at least, she would be if the GOTM soldiers remembered she existed.

           The troops had dragged Ronnie away down a nearby hallway two hours prior, and all Mary had heard since then was screaming. Mostly from Ronnie pleading innocent or trying to shift the blame onto Mary. The rest was the GOTM soldiers telling the fugitive to shut up.

           Although she didn’t realize it, Mary was perhaps one of the most fortunate beings from her universe. Besides being its last survivor, she is one of few beings from the lower realms who have stepped foot in GOTM HQ. While on the outside, they appear to be mere sci-fi cops, and they kind of are; they are more often referred to as soldiers. The reason being they are typically sent to destroy interdimensional threats with extreme prejudice. Petty crooks like Ronnie are an exception to their usual cases.

           GOTM, or for their more long-winded title, the Guardians of the Multiverse are an interdimensional organization. They are based in the theoretical center of the multiverse, which, despite popular belief, is not a boundless void. Instead, it is a series of endless voids bundled together into layers stacked atop each other. The upper layers are home to gods, sentient concepts, and celestial wonders. The lower layers are home to dying worlds and low-rent housing.

           To Mary’s credit, she came from a universe that existed just above the lower layers. A mediocre place with nothing special. So while she wouldn’t die at twenty being attacked by a band of shrimp-men, the secretary would still have little to look forward to in her life. In fact, her universe’s destruction was likely the most exciting thing to ever happen to it.

           Again, Mary knew nothing of this. She was still too traumatized by the events of the last hour. In fact, during this whole exposition dump, she had yet to finish her cookie. A-2 had been poking the brunette in the cheek for the last ten minutes to ensure the woman was still alive, and the results were inconclusive.

           “Hello, you still got a brain in there?” A-2 continued to prod Mary.

           “I’m sorry, Mother, I didn’t know that was yours,” Mary muttered nonsense. A-2 curled her lip in concern before a sly grin spread across her face.

           “Can I borrow your brain and put in a robot?” A-2 inquired.

           “No, thank you, I don’t want any cream cheese,” Mary gnawed on the cookie half-conscious.

           “Darn,” A-2 sighed.

           “A-2,” the GOTM soldiers from before returned. “Ronnie keeps demanding to see her partner or whatever. Did we pick up anyone else?”

           “Yeah, this one, you told me to give her a cookie, remember?” A-2 replied.

           “Oh, right...whatever, just bring her over,” the GOTM soldier shrugged.

~--~

           “Am I in trouble?” Mary had snapped back to reality once she was led into the interrogation room and placed alongside Ronnie.

           “Shut up, I’m working a plea deal,” Ronnie assured.

           “No, you’re not,” the GOTM soldier denied. “Now I want you to tell me, why do you have this bland woman with you? And don’t tell me she’s your partner because I’m pretty sure I’d remember if you had one.”

           “Fine,” Ronnie relented. “I knew you’d be monitoring that last universe closely since it was about to be pruned. Someone dimension jumping from such a low dimension would look pretty suspicious. So, I grabbed...uh, Mandy?... Marty...?”

           “Mary,” the brunette sighed.

           “Uh...So I grabbed whatshername here,” Ronnie continued. “Her dullness would make the perfect cover for my getaway.”

           “What are you talking about?” The GOTM soldier looked at the pink-haired fugitive like she had two heads. “I don’t know what you were learning in science class, but dull people don’t have a perception filter around them. I mean, seriously, how stupid would you have to be.”

           “Really?” Mary asked.

           “When’d you get here?” The GOTM soldier was startled. Mary groaned in reply.

           “In any case,” Ronnie took control of the conversation. “I want my plea deal. We’ll do anything to get out of prison. I’m an experience dimension and hopper, and she...um...is very useful.”

           “Don’t lump me in with you,” Mary cut in. “You basically kidnapped me with that weird spray thing.”

           “Weird spray?” The GOTM soldier was intrigued. “I don’t recall finding that on your person during the full body search.”

           “Uh,” Ronnie sweated. “Don’t you forget, I also saved your life, Mandy.”

           “Mary,” the secretary replied.

           “Okay, I understand,” the GOTM officer nodded. “Let’s take this to trial then. Starting now.”

           “Trial, already? Where’s the judge?” Mary asked.

           “We’re shorthanded right now, so that would be me,” the soldier put on a powdered wig. “Time for, guilty or not guilty,” he held up a small device that resembled a police badge in shape.

           “Judge, jury, and executioner,” Ronnie let out a nervous laugh.

           “What now?” Mary exclaimed.

           “Ronnie Ray, you’re charged with petty theft, poorly filed taxes, and loitering between dimensions. As well as interfering with beings of lower dimensions and conspiracy to resist arrest,” the soldier activated the device. It flashed back and forth between red and blue before settling on red. A large holographic “guilty” appeared above the machine. “How do you plead?”

           “We’ll take the plea deal, please,” Ronnie put on a brave face.

           “Fine, fine,” the soldier relented. “They do need some extra bodies down at the Beginner’s Guide offices.”

           “Thank the countless gods above,” Ronnie beamed.

           “Not you, her,” the GOTM soldier pointed at Mary.

           “What?” The two said in unison.

           “As for you, 1,000 solar cycles in the cryo prison. Starting now,” the soldier clicked a button on the badge-like device. Mary was blinded by the flash of light it emitted, and when she regained her vision, Ronnie was gone. In the fugitive’s place was an action figure-sized replica.

           “What happened to her?” Mary asked.

           “That is her,” the soldier picked up the Ronnie figure and put it into a cylindrical container he had retrieved from beneath his desk. “She’ll serve out her sentence and be released out into the universe one day. She might even join you at the Beginner’s Guide office.”

           “I don’t know if I’ll live that long,” Mary pointed out.

           “Ah, right lower dimension,” the soldier felt foolish. “With our medicine, aging and disease is a thing of the past. You’ll live forever as long as you don’t get killed some other way.”

           Some part of Mary’s brain told her she should be happy. She’d never get sick and be young forever. On the other hand, she didn’t like anything about this situation, and she was still teetering on another mental breakdown. Thus, torn between conflicting emotions, she let out a sound somewhere between a scream and a sob and smashed her head into the table.

To Be Continued...

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Sometimes a golden opportunity hits you out of nowhere and carries you to places you could never dream of. Sometimes a less than desirable opportunity is dropped in your lap and you have no choice but to take it.

If you've made it this far I'm sure you have many questions, such as "why did the last part have a previously on segment and this one did not?" That's simple, because I forgot to write one and didn't realize until I was finished editing. However, I'd say it's more interesting to believe that the previously on segment took a vacation this week and will be back next time.

Until next time, Read, Comment and Enjoy 

~~~~ 

Support me on Patreon: [link]

Strange Sci-fi Tales - The Beginner's Guide to Everything Part 2

Part 1: [link]

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           Previously on the Beginner’s Guide to Everything, Mary Brown, the most normal girl in the multiverse, was shanghaied by local weirdo Ronnie Ray into an impromptu inter-dimensional road trip. Mainly because the universe they were currently in was about to be destroyed as part of a natural multiversal pruning process.

           Unfortunately for Mary, Ronnie was a dimension-hopping fugitive on the run from the law for a string of petty crimes. Ronnie had taken Mary, hoping the girl’s infamous normalcy would cover her escape. It did not, and now the pair were surrounded by a squad of armed soldiers from GOTM.

~--~

           ‘This is not how I expected this day to go,’ Ronnie thought to herself as the GOTM soldiers wrestled her to the ground, their guns trained on the back of her head. ‘When I caught that emergency signal on my radio this morning, I thought it was a poor taste joke,’ the fugitive recalled as she was cuffed. ‘Alas no. My perfect hiding spot universe just had to be pruned away. Plus, those nosy jerks at GOTM just had to keep a close eye on all the interdimensional activity around it.’

           “You have the right to remain silent,” one of the GOTM soldiers exclaimed. “Everything you say, think, imply and consider can and will be used against you in court.”

           “Yeah, yeah, I’ve heard it a million times,” Ronnie rolled her eyes as they yanked her up by her pink hair. Meanwhile, Mary was feeling conflicted.

           At first, the poor woman was terrified. Her whole life and everything she knew had just been destroyed for reasons nobody had adequately explained. Then the sci-fi cops had surrounded her, leaving her to wonder what sort of horrifying prison she’d be thrown in for associating with Ronnie. But now, she was merely confused.

           The brunette had balled up on the ground and started crying, waiting for the cops to cuff her, but they never did. In fact, they outright ignored her and focused only on Ronnie. At first, Mary just sat there frozen, still balled up. Then she thought to ask why they weren’t arresting her. Of course, the woman quickly realized such a question was foolish and kept her mouth shut.

           “Aren’t you going to arrest her too?” Ronnie threw Mary under the bus.

           ‘Damn it,’ Mary swore internally.

           “Huh?” The GOTM soldier dragging Ronnie away looked back at Mary. He squinted in the secretary’s direction as though he was struggling to see her. “Oh, I guess there is someone there. She kind of blends in. Who is she?”

           “My accomplice,” Ronnie lied.

           “Wow, thanks,” Mary sarcastically replied.

           “You’re welcome,” the fugitive grinned.

           “Aghh,” the GOTM soldier groaned. “Well, we were only after the one. I guess she did cross a dimensional boundary illegally, but that’s like another hour of paperwork.” Mary did not dare to make a response. Either out of fear or utter bewilderment was hard to say.

           “Just throw her in the back seat,” another soldier proposed.

           “Works for me put her in, boys,” the GOTM soldier ordered.

           “Back seat of what?” Mary inquired as two soldiers grabbed her by the arms and dragged her away.

~--~

           Before long, Mary and Ronnie were carried over to a large vehicle shaped like a bottle. A row of panels opened along the side, which each soldier filed into. Ronnie was chucked into the centermost panel, while Mary was gently set into the backmost.

           “Can I ask a-?” Mary started as the panel shut behind her. “I guess not.” The brunette looked around. The room she was in was relatively thin. With only inches of space in front of her nose. Mainly because it was lined with so much padding. Along the back wall, the same side as the ship’s rear was a row of seats with over-the-shoulder restraints, kind of like a roller coaster.

           “Please take your seats,” a mechanical voice echoed throughout the vessel.

           “Okay,” Mary quickly sat down and pulled the restraint down over her.

           “Launch sequence initiated, 10...9...” The mechanical voice began a countdown. Mary braced herself, hoping to be ready for whatever was about to happen. “8...6...4....”

           “Wait, what?” Mary was taken off guard by the skipped numbers.

           “3...5...12...192...7...” The voice spouted off random numbers.

           “Is this a joke?” The secretary asked.

           “Yes, just having some fun with you,” the voice chuckled.

           “Oh, okay, when do we-?” Mary replied.

           “3, 2, 1 Go!” The voice exclaimed. Mary quickly rebraced herself, but it was all for not.

           Most would expect the vessel’s back to be where the propulsion comes from. However, the Starford 898 Bottle-Class ship stands in defiance of this concept. Many GOTM pilots were quite frustrated with how much control they have over their propulsion, a very crucial part of interdimensional travel. Thus the Bottle-Class ships place the engines at the front of the ship, right in front of the cockpit. This way, the pilot has total control over their propulsion down to the most minute level. Steering is another matter, but direction, height, and distance are such non-concepts in the boundless void between dimensions that no one seems to mind. Landing, however...

           After a mere twenty-minute voyage, the vessel crashed into the ground, shaking Mary around like a water balloon in a car seat. Thankfully, the padding in front of her cushioned her repeated face plants into the wall. She was woozy but not brain-damaged from the experience.

           “Thank you for flying with us,” the mechanical voice returned.

           “You’re welcome,” Mary saw stars while suppressing the urge to vomit.

           The padded wall in front of her opened up like a sliding glass door. Emerging from the passage was a girl on the short side. She had cybernetic bits in place of ears, her eyes appeared to be lenses, and there was a pair of tiny but angel-like wings on her back. She had short blue hair and a big grin on her face as she watched Mary sit there dazed.

           “Save the vomit for outside the ship, please,” the cyborg stated in the same tone as the mechanical voice.

           “No promises,” Mary groaned.

~--~

           “Are we forgetting anything?” The GOTM soldier wondered.       

           “I don’t think so,” his fellow soldier replied as they dragged Ronnie out of the bottle ship. The pink-haired fugitive was putting up little resistance. Mostly because she was too busy trying not to puke her guts out.

           At that moment, the back panel of the ship opened, revealing Mary, who stumbled out. The brunette tried and failed to walk in a straight line before falling over onto the ground and sobbing.

           “Oh, right,” the GOTM soldier recalled the face that Mary existed.

           “What do you want to do with this one?” The cyborg peeked out of the ship, sparing a quick glance at the ailing Mary.

           “Just take her to the waiting room in the station, A-2,” the GOTM soldier answered. “Give her a glass of water and a cookie or something while we deal with this one.”

           “Roger dodger,” A-2 saluted and picked up Mary liked she was a ragdoll and carried the brunette off.

           “You’re letting her off easy aren’t yeah?” Annie commented, her nausea having faded.

           “Why, who was she?” The GOTM soldier asked.

           “Seriously?” Annie rolled her eyes. “I know she’s forgettable, heck I don’t even remember her name half the time, but I told you she’s my accomplice.”

           “I think I remember you saying something like that a while back,” the soldier admitted.

           “It was twenty minutes ago!” Ronnie pointed out.

           “Whatever, tell it to the judge,” the GOTM soldier brushed off her statement and shoved her forward.

To Be Continued...

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Sometimes you have to make the most of a bad situation, sometimes you're just along for the ride.

Until next time, Read, Comment and Enjoy 

~~~~ 

Support me on Patreon: [link]

Strange Sci-fi Tales - The Beginner's Guide to Everything Part 1 [#212]

It's been a long time since I've posted a series of any sort, and even longer since I've posted a fairly long one. Consider this an experimental story, one that I'll be updating for as long as I remain interested. With that out of the way, please enjoy the tale.

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           It was a particularly drab, rainy spring morning. The birds were not chirping, not in this weather, and nobody was out and about in the little suburban neighborhood. That was except for Mary Brown. Alas, that was part of the reason it was such a drab morning.

           Mary Brown was the most normal girl in the universe, some would say. The middle of the road, the 50th percentile. She got average grades in school, got at best 4th in every contest she entered, and worked as a secretary in a glue factory. There was nothing special about her, from her plain, short brown hair, to her frumpy office lady outfit and dull glasses.

           To say she was as interesting as the wallpaper in the office of Blandy McBlanderson’s tax accountant would be of great offense to the wallpaper. So much so that Blandy and his accountant might hire a lawyer on behalf of the wallpaper. Merely to sue you for defamation.

           In other words, she was a fairly boring person. But not so much that it would be to a noticeable extent. In fact, by the end of this paragraph, you’ll have probably forgotten she has even existed. Like her parents, who’ve missed half her birthdays because they can never remember how many kids they’ve had. They’ve only had one, but they’re convinced they had two or three. The problem is the whole stretch of their lives they spent raising their child is nothing more than a blur to them.

           What were we talking about again? Oh yes, Mary Whatshername. She was slowly walking across the sidewalk of her rainy neighborhood. She had a not particularly early morning shift at the glue factory but was in no rush to arrive. It’s not as though anyone would notice if she wasn’t there on time. Then again, they wouldn’t notice her even if she was there, plus there wasn’t (and never was) an urgent need for her to be in the office, so she was taking her time.

           “Another day, another dollar,” Mary said to herself. It was the most conversation she’d had all week, maybe even all month. “If they remember to pay me this period,” the woman sighed. She looked ahead on the gray road, expecting to see nothing more than raindrops and concrete. Instead, she saw Ronnie Ray staring up at the sky.

           Now, Ronnie Ray was a fair bit more notable than Mary. Although that wasn’t saying much. The poor soul behind the counter of your local convenience store is also more notable than Mary by virtue of existing. The difference between Ronnie and that unfortunate individual is that Ronnie was not quite normal.

           Supposedly, Ms. Ray worked as a voice talent for local radio stations. She’d sing, do radio dramas, that sort of work. At least, that’s what Ronnie told everyone. Of course, people did find her hot pink hair that seemed to glow in the dark and her impossibly lean figure, despite the fact she only ate potato chips, to be somewhat strange. That and how she was always on her radio at night listening to “foreign language radio dramas.” Said dramas sounded more like garbled noise being projected through a pair of poorly maintained megaphones than anything else.

           The horrible truth of the matter was that Ronnie was a fugitive, but not a fugitive from this Earth. Yet, she was entirely human, or rather something so close to a human that making a distinction would be pointless to most people. More on that in a moment. As for why she was looking at the sky? Well, the terrified look on her face said it all.

           “Are you okay?” Mary inquired. She’d seen Ronnie quite a few times, even talked with her once or twice. The dull girl never learned Ronnie’s name but was too embarrassed to admit it, so she just fell back on vague language.

           “Fine, totally fine, everything is fine,” Ronnie’s mouth ran at a mile a minute. “You wouldn’t happen to have a seen a particularly dull and boring-looking girl, have you?”

           “That would be me,” Mary admitted reluctantly.

           “Yeah, if you see her, tell her I’m looking for her,” Ronnie’s ears failed to register Mary’s words.

           “I don’t have time for this,” the drab girl stated. “Or well I do, but...forget it.”

           “Uh, huh, yeah,” Ronnie nodded as Mary passed her. “Wait, there you are,” the pink-haired woman exclaimed.

           “What do you want?” Mary sighed.

           “Hey, uh,” Ronnie tried to relax, “you want to get a drink or something?”

           “I have work,” Mary replied. “Also, you’re acting suspiciously friendly. What do you actually want?”

           “It’s nothing like that. I’m just being neighborly,” Ronnie assured.

           “You’re not my neighbor,” the brunette pointed out. “Also, you’re starting to creep me out. I’m going to go before I end up on the news in a missing person’s report.”

           “Wait, don’t go,” Ronnie grabbed Mary’s shoulder. “Just blow off work. Who’s going to care?”

           “I will,” Mary countered.

           “Let me rephrase that,” Ronnie looked back up at the sky. “No one will care. No one will be around to care.”

           “The way you phrased that sentence is concerning,” Mary tried to back away. Alas, Ronnie’s grip strength was unnaturally strong.

           “Okay, I was going to try and ease you into this. Maybe get a few drinks in you to open you up to the idea,” the fugitive stated. “But I’m running out of time.”

           “Where are you going with this?” Mary felt a few dozen pangs of panic as her mind raced with the possibilities Ronnie’s words implied.

           “Hold still, please,” Ronnie pulled out a travel-size red canister with a spray nozzle at the top. With a click of the nozzle, a pink mist emerged from the canister and entered Mary’s nose.

           “Wha...?” Mary’s brain went to lala land as she saw stars.

           “Good thing you’re loopy, or this would probably give you a massive headache,” Ronnie commented. The pink-haired woman readied a small black device with dozens of buttons and switches on it. With a click of one switch, the two women lurched through the fabric of reality, and suddenly they were no longer on the rainy street. They were no longer in the suburbs, their town, or even the Earth. In fact, currently, they weren’t anywhere.

           Ronnie Ray was a fugitive, but not from this Earth. She was from a different Earth that was a few thousand years further along. Medicine and cybernetics had advanced to the point that one could spend their whole life eating deep-fried cookies wrapped in bacon for every meal and feel no adverse effects. They had also discovered interdimensional travel at some point. It became a popular pastime to cross realities for bored people with a disposable income.

           Ronnie was not one of those people, but she did mug a guy who was and ran off into the multiverse. She was already on the hook for poorly filed taxes, “it’s not like I can get in any more trouble,” was her only thought about the act. As it turns out, yes, she could, as the pink-haired woman was soon being charged with petty theft, harassing lower lifeforms, and loitering in the gap between dimensions.

           The fugitive had settled on Mary’s world as a hiding place. It was perfect, being a backwater dimension nobody cared about. That was until now, which led to Ronnie’s hasty escape with Mary in tow for reasons that will become clear in a moment.

           “Where are we?” Mary came to in mid-interdimensional transit.

           “Oops, you weren’t supposed to wake up until we landed. Guess I should have used more spray,” Ronnie shrugged. “Try not to look into the boundless void. It’ll just make your brain explode. I’m not speaking in hyperbole, by the way.”

           “Okay, okay,” Mary shut her eyes and tried to brace herself for the oncoming motion sickness. “So, why are we here?”

           “Well about that,” Ronnie began, right as a massive cross-dimensional event occurred behind them, sending the two into a spiral.

           “What was that?” Mary screamed as she felt herself fold infinitely.

           “That was your dimension being pruned. It happens sometimes,” Ronnie answered.

           “What, why? How? What’s going on?” Mary tried to ignore the sensation of her body twisting in eight different directions at once.

           “I’ll explain later, if I feel like it,” Ronnie was totally relaxed. “Consider yourself lucky. You’re the sole survivor of a whole universe.”

           “I don’t have time to unpack that right now!” Mary hazarded opening her eyes, only to see her own behind in front of her. She quickly shut them again. “Why would you save me then? I’m literally the last person on Earth anyone cared about.”

           “Exactly,” Ronnie smirked. “I’m kind of doing this dimension jump illegally, so I was hoping your dullness would dilute my signal, so the fuzz doesn’t get on my tail.”

           “Then what?” Mary shouted.

           “I don’t know. You could become my partner in crime,” Ronnie shrugged.

           “You mean scapegoat,” Mary guessed her savior’s true intentions.

           “Ah, don’t worry about it,” the pink-haired girl blew off the accusation. “GOTM isn’t going to find us.” As the last syllable exited her mouth, the duo’s transit halted on a dime, and the two were suspended in mid-air. Until physics kicked back in, and they fell to the ground. The two women looked up to see they were surrounded on all sides by heavily armed soldiers of various shapes and sizes. Each was wearing a patch with a logo that read “GOTM.”

           “Why me?” Mary lamented as the soldiers moved to arrest them.

To Be Continued...

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You're whole world can be flipped upside down at any moment and in an instant.

Until next time, Read, Comment and Enjoy 

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Eclectic Narratives - Just Keep on Dreaming [#211]

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I’ll keep on dreaming, no matter what happens.

I’ll keep on seeking, no matter the trials.

It’s an elusive goal, once thought to be no more than a fantasy.

Yet, here I am, with it just out of reach.

I doubt it’ll happen soon.

I doubt I’ll even expect it.

One day though, it won’t just be a fantastical dream.

I’ll achieve, I’ll accomplish, I’ll succeed.

It will all be worth it in the end.

That I can say for sure.

Because it’s not the dream itself.

Not the ever-moving goal.

No the satisfaction of completion.

Nor the pride in victory.

But the journey, the chase, of this ever distant dream.

That’s what makes it worth it; that’s what drives me onward.

Dreams are the goal. Dreams drive me, motivate me to be my best.

But the journey makes it worth it.

The experience is why I’m here.

Once you achieve your goal, things may feel strange.

A whole part of your life may be put behind you.

Sometimes that’s great if it was hard work or painful.

Sometimes it’s sad because you genuinely enjoyed it.

That’s why I love the journey.

Because the path you walk makes the goal at the end worth achieving.

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Sometimes the journey really does beat the destination. A hard days work can be quite satisfying, but a hundred towards a greater goal of yours is all the more fulfilling.

Until next time, Read, Comment and Enjoy 

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Enigmatic Fantasies - The Moth Investigation [#210]

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           “Aren’t you two a little old to be doing this scooby gang investigation thing?” The homeowner asked the pair. The three adults stood in front of an average suburban home on a quiet afternoon.

           “No,” the woman smiled. She had to be in her 30s, yet she was dressed like she was in her early 20s. Her sweater and fuzzy pants combo looked like it might have been fashionable twenty years ago. But now, it made her look like she was trying too hard.

           “Yes,” the man replied bluntly. His wool cap and fleece jacket were well worn and fairly dirty. It made him look street smart in the sense he literally appeared as though he wandered off an inner-city street. His affirmative reply earned him a pout from his female companion.

           “In any case,” the woman shifted back to her smile, “we heard you have a Mothman in your attic?”

           “Yeah,” the homeowner nodded. His uncertainty in the duo was clear as day, and he made no attempts to hide it. “It’s been giving me evil looks every time I try to go back up there. My record collection and my winter clothes are up there, and I don’t want it destroying them. And before you ask, mothballs don’t work.”

           “Leave it to us,” the sweater woman puffed out her chest. “Your record collection is in safe hands.” She marched into the house without even waiting for the homeowner’s permission. Leaving them agape at her sheer audacity.

           “She does that sometimes,” the cap-wearing man sighed. “Give her 30 seconds. She’ll be back.”

           On cue, literally half a minute later, the woman returned with a question, “Which way to your attic?”

~--~

           “I can’t believe you got lost in someone’s house again,” the cap-wearing man stated.

           “Its layout is confusing,” the sweater woman defended herself.

           “The stairs were right there in the front,” the man pointed out.

           “Huff,” the woman pouted again but dropped the subject as they ascended into the attic. It was a simple one-room attic. The ceiling was curved to match the roof directly above, and insulation lining every wall. Stacks of boxes lined the dusty wooden floor, mostly records, trinkets, and seasonal items like snow shovels and beach chairs. However, in the far corner was a chewed open box of winter clothing. A partially eaten sweater dangled out over the cardboard.

           “Well, at least we’ll save the records,” the cap man commented as he flicked the nearby light switch. Sadly, the small light above did not turn on. A quick glance revealed the wires had been chewed as well.

           “That’s one ravenous moth,” the woman stated as she pulled out a flashlight. “Let’s see how big he is,” she ignited her light source. Alas, the attic appeared empty save for the two of them. It was dead quiet, save for the sound of the wind outside. “No Mothman?” The sweater woman whined.

           “No Mothman, but,” the cap man pointed straight ahead. Hovering in the light was a single moth. It was a totally normal moth, albeit a huge one. Its wingspan easily surpassed 30 centimeters, making it a record-setting size. However, it was still just a regular moth.

           “Wow, that’s big, but not quite a Mothman. Does that guy need glasses or something?” The woman wondered.

           “Begone from my lair, or face my wrath,” a booming voice echoed through the room. The duo looked around for the source but could find no mouth speaking the words. “Over here, you nitwits.”

           “The moth?” The sweater woman pointed the flashlight at the moth again.

           “Not the moth,” the voice replied, “Me!” The Mothman emerged from underneath the light, starting the pair. Two bright-red eyes on the insect-like body stared dagger at the duo.

           “That’s a cool trick, do it again,” the woman exclaimed.

           “What a rip,” the cap man sighed and stepped forward.

           “Be gone humans, I said go away!” The Mothman exclaimed.

           “Yeah, no,” the man waved his hand through the creature, revealing it to be nothing more than an illusion. “Get the butterfly net.”

           “Oh, boy!” The woman pulled out a net and an insect cage.

           “No, stay away,” the Mothman continued to scream. At the same time, the moth itself tried to flutter away, only to be caught in the net immediately.

~--~

           “Found your Mothman,” the woman showed the homeowner the captured insect. The moth relentlessly flew around the cage, looking for an escape but found none.

           “That’s not what I saw,” the homeowner replied.

           “Must have been a trick of the light,” the cap man explained. “That’s probably the biggest moth anyone has ever seen, so it’s understandable.”

           “But it spoke to me and yelled at me,” the homeowner exclaimed.

           “It’s all in your head,” the woman assured as she left and her partner with the insect in tow.        

           “So what do we do with the magic moth?” The cap man asked as they walked onto the street.

         “I dunno, release him in the wood or something?” The woman shrugged. “It wouldn’t feel right to keep him.”

           “The woods? That is not fit for my domain. I demand more wool!” The moth exclaimed.

           “Keep that up, and we’ll have you framed,” the cap man threatened.

           “I’ll be good,” the moth squeaked.

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I got no pseudo-philosphy this time, I just had a silly idea and I wrote it. Also, I don't know for certain if 30 centimeters would be a world record size for moths. Everything I found online about the world's largest moths was that they were just under 30 centimeters in size, but I couldn't find anything talking about a specific largest moth (but that's what 5 minutes of research gets you).

Until next time, Read, Comment and Enjoy 

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Strange Sci-fi Tales - Alone at Last [#209]

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           Jeffery just wanted to be left alone, to his own devices. In the vast emptiness of space, one would think that would be easy. Alas, that was not the case. Jeffery thought his career choice as a communications expert, managing intergalactic transmissions, would lead to a quiet life. He hoped to be put on monitor duty on a quiet space station in the corner of some no-name galaxy. Yet, that never was the case.

           Every job he was assigned to by his superior put him on some crowded spaceship with rowdy crewmates. No matter how much Jeffery urged or insisted, he'd always be put on that exact same setup every year. Whenever he was given the privilege to work on a small space station on his own, within a month, he'd be shoved back on another ship. Apparently, someone thought he liked working on teams. Jeffery wished he knew who so he could punch their lights out.

           That led Jeffery to his current job. After a blissful two months working at a communication hub in one of the least populous sectors of space, a 'friend' of his recommended him for a new position. It was a standard communication officer post on a small research and exploration vessel. Jeffery would have refused except said 'friend' had already applied and accepted the job for him.

           Without being able to even speak his own opinion, Jeffery was strong-armed into joining the crew and forced back into his discomfort zone. The job was only supposed to last a couple months, so Jeffery told himself to wait it out. Then the first thing he'd do when he got back was sign a ten-year contract to work on the communication hub. However, he quickly realized it wouldn't be so easy.        

           "Captain's orders, get on it now!" On only the second day, the captain was barking at the vessel's doctor. Jeffery didn't know why they were fighting, just that it was over something petty.

           "What if I don't feel like wasting my time with your frivolous BS," the doctor snapped. Jeffery noticed the two men puffing out their chests and left the area before a fight broke out. Sadly, these interactions became a common pattern. Everyone on the ship got along like cats and dogs, and fights broke out with alarming regularity. Jeffery began to wonder if his 'friend' actually hated him.

           A month in, and Jeffery was at wit's end. He found himself confined to his quarters or workstation at all hours. He didn't eat meals with his crew or even interact with them for fear of getting in a fight. His plan seemed to work, as no one on the crew ever fought with him. But, in the few times he ventured out into the ship's halls, there was always a fight in progress. Jeffery knew it was only a matter of time.

           Then came the mistake. The navigator and the captain got in the worst fight the crew had ever seen. Fists were thrown, words that dug deep were said, and nerves were left raw. Both men were encouraged by the rest of the crew to return to their quarters and cool off. Sadly, both men took this as an opportunity to refuse to do their jobs, likely to spite one another.

           The next thing everyone knew, they made a couple of wrong lightspeed jumps and were way off course. The navigator, who hadn't looked at a map since the fight with the captain, had no idea where they were. The engineer and pilot, who were responsible for the jumps, had all the blame shoved on them. The two were obviously furious they were blamed but held their tongues. They likely hoped their silence would make the navigator and captain actually do their jobs again.

           Jeffery noted the engineer took it a lot harder and was far angrier over the whole ordeal. Which confused Jeffery all the more when they found said engineer dead the next day. The captain ruled it as an accident. Officially the engineer was upset and not paying attention, which led him to fumble with a heavy tool chest that fell on his head. Jeffery never bothered to check the validity of that claim. The rest of the crew got into a massive fight over the situation immediately, and he slipped out to avoid the fisticuffs.  

           Jeffery didn't emerge from his quarters until the next day, only to learn the captain and doctor had gotten into their worst fight yet. It ended with fists flying and the doctor's head hitting the ground just right that he died. This, in turn, sparked a fight between the captain and navigator. The latter believing the doctor's accidental death was too convenient sounding, only the replicate the incident leaving the navigator dead as well.

           At this point, Jeffery was beyond done. He wasn't about to get himself killed in the dinky ship with his crazy crewmates. He snatched one of the engineer's wrenches and locked himself in his quarters. The communication's officer prayed this whole thing would blow over, or at least that he'd escape with his parts intact.

           Days passed, and Jeffery quickly found himself without food or water. He needed to make a food run. The man could only hope the captain or another of the crew members hadn't gorged themselves while he had remained hidden. With hesitant steps, he moved towards the dining area, wrench in hand, occasionally spotting the dead bodies of his crewmates. Finally, he arrived at the dining room door, only to hear a gunshot inside.

           Against his better judgment, Jeffery peeked inside to find the captain, smoking gun in his hands, having just shot the pilot. The captain was shaking, looking ready to vomit, before collapsing onto a nearby chair.

           "I didn't mean to. It wasn't supposed to end like this," the captain claimed.

           "I see," Jeffery nodded as he stepped towards his captain. 

          "I just wanted to be a good captain, a successful captain, but all I did was fight with my crew," he continued. "I killed them, I killed them all, but it was an accident, I swear."    

           "I understand," Jeffery assured, his eyes never moving from the gun still clutched in the captain's hand. "It's not your fault," Jeffery stated as he bashed the back of the captain's head with the wrench, "but I'm not taking any chances." The communications officer wasn't proud of his own action, but he also didn't feel like taking the chance. The captain was not in his right mind and still held onto the murder weapon for dear life.

           With the captain's passing, Jeffery noted how quiet the ship was. All that remained was the idle hum of the engine as the vessel drifted on autopilot. Jeffery realized he was now and truly alone, but he wasn't happy about it. This wasn't what he wanted. This was just sick. With little else to do, the communications officer picked up the remaining food and isolated himself at this workstation. Maybe he could contact a nearby ship or space station for rescue, but he had no idea if any were nearby.

           As Jeffery settled in for the long wait, he wondered if he'd ever get home. Would he die here, drifting alone in space? If not, does he even want to make it back? Returning with a ship full of dead bodies wasn't the best look. In the end, Jeffery shrugged off these questions. Whatever the answer, it was out of his hands. Now all he could do was try to enjoy the solitude.

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Sometimes you just want to be left alone on your own terms, sadly you don't always have a choice in the matter.

Until next time, Read, Comment and Enjoy 

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