Strange Sci-fi Tales - A Tale From Robot Tech Support [#152]

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           “Have you tried turning yourself off and on again?” The jaded IT employee asked from the other side of the phone line.

           “Of course,” the robot replied, “I’ll just flip my power switch on with the arms that don’t work because I turned the power off.”

           “Can you do a power reset?” The employee inquired.

           “Don’t you think I’ve tried that?” The robot snapped.

           “Please sir, the operation must be performed before we can begin troubleshooting,” the IT employee insisted.

           “Fine,” the robot replied before clicking a switch on their side. Over the course of a few minutes the robot shut down and powered on, yet their nebulous problem persisted. “There, nothing changed.”

           “Okay sir, let’s begin basic troubleshooting,” the IT guy sighed, “when did you last update yourself?”

           “Yesterday,” the robot answered.

           “Have you installed any third-party software recently?” He continued.

           “About a year ago, is that recent enough for you?” The robot became more frustrated.

           “Have you changed any important hardware or software setting recently?”

           “No and no,” the robot almost screamed into the receiver.

           “Hmm, I might have to check with my supervisor, we might not cover this kind of problem,” the employee droned.

           “Are you serious? You barely even know what the problem is,” The robot yelled.

           “Sir, I’m going to have to ask you to calm down, or I’ll have to disconnect the call,” the IT guy warned.

           “Get me your supervisor, I want to lodge a complaint,” the robot declared.

           “I apologize if my service has not been up to your standard, sir,” the employee stated flatly. “However, due to the Anti-Botting Law enacted last year, all robot complaints must be submitted through an online customer satisfaction survey on our website.”

          “Don’t you pass the buck, everyone knows that isn’t how that law is supposed to work,” the robot countered.

           “Sir, this is your second warning, if you yell at me again I’ll disconnect the call,” the IT guy reminded him.

           “Listen here, it’s your job to fix me, and you’re doing a pretty terrible job,” the robot growled. “Don’t make me have to report you and your company for poor service. Maybe I should-” Before the robot could finish his sentence, the call was disconnected. “Hello? You lazy-” He smashed the receiver.

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When customer and hardware become the same thing, temperamental is the only word that can describe the result. 

Until next time, Read, Comment and Enjoy 

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Enigmatic Fantasies - A Mysterious Creature Not Worth Seeking [#151]

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           A mysterious creature is what you seek?

           I know of one, but your chances are bleak.

           Around the turn of the new year, on a cloudless night, you might find it.

           But I tell you now, for this quest of yours, it would be best to quit.

           If you must know, the creature emerges on those nights to dance in the sky.

           Like a star in the sky, the creature will appear like a speck that seems to fly.

           If you catch a glimpse, you might mistake it for a shooting star.

           If you’re sure it’s in your sights, I’d recommend staying far.

           Do not follow its path or trace its route.

           If you chose to approach, your safety is in doubt.

           It is a shy creature that values its privacy above all.

           It does its very best to hide where it may fall.

           A keen eye can track its landing.

           Usually to a small clearing in a forest, where you’ll find it standing.

           At that point, I’d say, back away before it knows you are there.

           To stay in its presence is something you should never dare.

           But if you were, you might see its features like that of a doll.

           However, if you did, it would be you that the creature would maul.

           It’s a shy creature I know, but that doesn’t make it non-violent.

           I say if you see it, the best you can do is remain silent.

           There is a chance I hear that the creature might spare you.

           How this occurs, I wish I knew.

           But let’s say it’s not a preferred outcome.

           Unless you’d like to be dragged to wherever the creature came from.

           You would become the strange creature’s captive.

           If it happens to you, I certainly hope you’re adaptive.

           But after this warning, I hope you’ve thought twice.

           Alas, I can tell you’ve only grown more excited, it seems you’ll pay the price.        

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Some things are better left undisturbed, of course some people interpret that as a challenge.

Until next time, Read, Comment and Enjoy 

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Eclectic Narratives #17 - New Year's Resolution to Failure [#150]

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           “In this new year, I’m going to cut down on alcohol, quit the junk food, and lose all this extra weight,” he proclaimed. “By the end of the year, I’ll be a whole new man.”

           “Yeah right, one miracle at a time,” his friend laughed.

           “Have a little faith,” he became agitated.

           “Fine, in this new year, I’m going to cure all the world’s known diseases, end world hunger, and became king of France,” the friend joked.

           “Isn’t that a little unrealistic?” He gave his friend a doubtful look.

           “No more than yours,” the friend countered.

           “Hey, don’t act like it’s impossible for me to improve myself,” he became offended.

           “Improve? No, that’s not impossible,” the friend reiterated. “You might fix one of those problems over two years, with a little help, but not all three in one year.”

           “What makes you think that?” He asked.

           “Remember two years ago when you said you’d become a great painter by the end of that year?” The friend reminded him.

           “Yeah?” He gulped.

           “I think you picked up a paintbrush twice that year,” his friend explained. “Once to paint, the second time to throw it away eight months later.”

           “That was the old me, you’ll see I’ll be a changed man this year, you’ll see,” he stomped away.

           “Knock yourself out,” the friend replied.

~--~ 1 Month Later ~--~

           “So how’d that becoming a changed man thing turn out?” The friend approached him.

           “The what?” He replied, a beer in one hand and a bag of chips in the other. “Do you mind? I’m in the middle of binging my favorite show.”

           “Sure, I’ll leave you alone,” the friend agreed, “knock yourself out.”

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Resolving to improve yourself is fine and good, but you actually have to follow through for it to mean anything.

Until next time, Read, Comment and Enjoy

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Enigmatic Fantasies - Secret in the Snow [#143]

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           It’s cold now, I’m sure you can see.

           The snow will fall soon, I’m sure you’ll agree.

           But tell me, have you heard?

           There’s a secret in the snow, I know it sounds absurd.

           It’s an old story here, unique to this place alone.

           Please have a seat, I’ll tell you this tale from my home.

           On snowy evenings, when day turns to night.

           Only at that moment, when the world of white is bathed in twilight.

           They say you’ll see something most strange.

           A figure will appear in the snowy range.

           Details are scarce as the figure tends to blend into the horizon.

           It will be but another spot of white, albeit one rising.

           They say the figure is waifish and thin.

           A small, dainty figure, with pearl white skin.

           Is it a ghost, a spirit or creature of the night?

           No one knows for sure, but it is the most beautiful sight.

           However, you should know.

           Seeing the sight is as far as you should go.

           Do not approach, do not flee.

           That will make the figure quite unhappy.

           I’ve seen it myself when I was young and foolish.

           Only then did I learn the figure was actually quite brutish.

           Fleeing did little to alleviate my situation.

           I was doomed by circumstances of my own creation.

           How did I escape, you ask?

           Well, I must say, I wasn’t up to the task.

           I hope you’re understanding of what I have to say.

           I must admit, I’m still running to this very day.

           So, if you’re feeling a tad magnanimous.

           Could I ask you to shoulder the figure’s animus?

           I’m sure you’ll find they make a pleasant companion.

           In no time at all, you’ll forget you’re being stalked by a phantom.

           It’s just an offer you don’t have to take it seriously.

           Just don’t be surprised if I disappear mysteriously.

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Sometimes when a person is dealt a bad hand, whether by luck, circumstance or their own poor choices, they try to pass on their misfortune to another poor soul.

Until next time, Read, Comment and Enjoy

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